mascars

Im lowk making 5th year loooooong cos i dont wanna write draco gwtting the dark mark cos omg :( it WILL make me sob

mascars

Guys help iive had to lock mysekf in my batbroom

mascars

this message may be offensive 
@mascars 
            
            Anyway, she opened the door and i went into the bathroom and locked the door, turned the shower on blah blah blah. 
            As i locked the door, i heard a teacher (same one that said mental health isnt a valid excuse to have time off) "SIENNA COME HERE." So  i obbiously ignored her thats all i heard, i deadass had to stay in there for 30 minutes cos i was too scared to check if they had gone.
            
            I literally had to turn into a fucking cartoon character and open the door a smidge  go onto the camera on my phone, press video and like put my phone out of the door to see if they were there 😪😪
            
            Oh lord im so sorry this is so long & i promise i'm not trying to attention seek
• Reply

mascars

@mascars 
            
            
            
            which does nothing & also that would he so so embarrissing (to me anyway) errr small-ish time skip to last week. Obviously, we had summer break and it just emded, i went back on thuraday which i actually did do thursday and friday so yay me ig but monday, tueaday and today i didnt go in cos like i still feel the same way (if that makes sense?) And the teachers came yesterday (luckily my mom was  at a group so i could just ignore it) and they called her today saying that there will be a meeting jext wednesday for like.. the 100th time (i never go to them 😀) and then they came earlier and bro omg i should not be abke to memorise the sound if a freaking minibus door closing. Unfortunately, i can memorise what it sounds like though so i didnt even need to look out the window to know that the school was here, so i obviously like JUMPED out of bed (i was mid writing aswell like hello? How rude..) and went onto the landing/top of stairs and line shouted down the stairs cos my mom was in the kitchen. 
            
            Converaation::
            
            Me:"Mom, don't answer the door. Please."
            Mom:"Why not?"
            Me:"cos it is the school. You know i'd refuse to speak to them anyway. Just ignore it."
            Mom:"i cant ignore them, its rude."
            Me:"no it isnt omg just ignore it." 
            
            Buddy she STILL opened the door (this is the second time ive locked myself in the bathroom bcs of the school and like last month i had to literally stand infront of the door and hold the handle literally bawling my eyes out begging so my mom couldnt get passed (shes blind so i genuinley could of just stood infront of it but eh)
• Reply

mascars

@mascars 
            
             (well my friend (hes been homeschooled for 2 years) suggested it first, then i told my sister and then i told my mom) and she said that she wouls tell the school which she did but they said it would be too expensive.. my friends mum didnt have to pay anything when he was homeschool and i told my mom that like beforehand but noo apparently it is too expensive, so i asked for a hlaftime table which again, i didnt get but i cant remember the reason why, all i got was a five minute pass (i can step out of class for five minutes when i want)
• Reply

mascars

Enjoy this, im bored but its not in the fic
          
          My dearest Ivy,
          
          I don't know whether there is any arrangement of words capable of explaining what you have come to mean to me, but I find myself attempting it regardless.
          
          There are days when I think of you and wonder how it is possible that one person could have disrupted a life so thoroughly. I had everything arranged in my mind before you arrived. I knew what I believed, what I wanted, and, most importantly, what I would never allow myself to feel.
          
          Then there was you.
          
          You arrived with your stubbornness, your sarcasm, your impossible questions, and that infuriating habit of looking at me as though you could see straight through every carefully constructed wall I had built.
          
          I tried to convince myself that you were temporary.
          
          I was wrong.
          
          You became the person I looked for without meaning to. The person whose absence I noticed first. The person I wanted to tell things to, even when I had convinced myself that I had nothing worth telling anyone.
          
          I remember the smallest things about you. The way your eyes change when you're trying not to laugh. The way you become unbearably determined when someone tells you that you cannot do something. The way you pretend not to care when you care far too much.
          
          I remember your voice.
          
          I remember your hands.
          
          I remember every ridiculous French word you've insisted upon teaching me, despite your endless amusement at my pronunciation.

mascars

@mascars And somehow, among all of those things, I remember the moments when you were simply yourself.
            
            No performance.
            
            No pretending.
            
            No trying to convince anyone that you were alright.
            
            Just Ivy.
            
            Those are the moments I treasure most.
            
            You once told me that stars are still there even when we cannot see them.
            
            I've thought about that often.
            
            Perhaps that is what you have been to me.
            
            A star I could not always see, but one that remained there regardless.
            
            I know I have not always made loving me easy. I know there are parts of myself I keep locked away, and there are things I struggle to say when saying them would make me vulnerable.
            
            But if there is one truth I have never been able to escape, it is this:
            
            I love you.
            
            Not because you are perfect.
            
            Not because you have never made mistakes.
            
            Not because you have somehow erased everything difficult from my life.
            
            I love you because you are you.
            
            Because you are stubborn and kind and infuriating and brilliant.
            
            Because you have survived things that should have broken you and somehow still found reasons to laugh.
            
            Because you never stopped seeing something human in me when I had spent years convincing myself there was nothing left worth seeing.
            
            I don't know what the future will look like.
            
            For once, I don't think I need to.
            
            Whatever happens, wherever we end up, whatever changes around us, I want you to remember this letter.
            
            There was a time when I believed I was incapable of belonging anywhere.
            
            Then I found you.
            
            And somehow, without even trying, you became home.
            
            Always yours,
            
            Tom
• Reply