Hello
My name is Matilde 
"I'm Hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"
"I must not tell lies"
"You look like melted ice cream"
"I'm not Billie Jean but I fell for the same guy."
"You threw my best f***ing pair of maracas away the first day"
"Get of my trousers f***ing get out"
"My name is John..." you know the rest
"Roger what did you do"
"I'm holding your neck so you don't get whiplash"