mattycash
What if I told you that I'm 20,000 words into writing a little something? It may or may not be a sequel to one of my stories...
mattycash
mattycash
You're telling me cutie patootie Kendrick Lamar wrote 'meet the grahams'?
mattycash
I know this is a writing platform but I was wondering if anyone would like to start a wee girls group chat on Instagram or something? My profile has literally just been about my failed attempts at dating recently and I know quite a few of you have been following along. It could be a nice, supportive vibe where we help each other out, wing woman, give advice, laugh over the audacity of some men etc. If you do, send me a message on my @jamesmaddiscn Instagram account and we can add each other on personals and start up the group. Just let me know if it's something you'd be interested in?
mattycash
@judebellybutton aww amazing! Do you have Instagram? You can send me a wee message on Instagram @jamesmaddiscn and then I'll add you on my personal (don't really want to plaster my personal account all over wattpad and wattpad stupidly got rid of messages) x
mattycash
The feminine urge to not dump too much and scare him off but just enough to keep the conversation going...
mattycash
@V4LENTYNE I thought he was normal and then he started coming out with all the s*xual stuff :') I am finding sooo many bad ones omg. I need serious help.
mattycash
@V4LENTYNE nevermind. He blocked me :) because I wouldn't engage in his s*xual conversations haha so a blessing honestly.
mattycash
Genuine question but how are you supposed to find a boyfriend? My only experience with a guy turned out to be a disaster and I don't want to use dating apps. I just want someone to share good and bad moments, someone to talk to, someone who genuinely wants me and will choose me.
spiridakos
genuinely! this year, i really was so considering using dating apps but the fear of rejection and heartbreak is too much for my anxiety and my fear will override. i don’t think i’m brave enough to do it anyway. but, the old fashioned way is how i want to meet my special someone whoever that is but it never looks like it’s coming :(
_bella_angeles_
@mattycash Girl i genuinely ask me the same question everyday, my love life is ridiculously inexistant and I have trust issues so I really understand what you mean. I'm so sorry that it ends badly with this guy because even if I didn't comment, I have followed your love story since the beginning. Dating nowadays seems impossible. You deserved to be happy darling. I'm here if you need to talk !
mattycash
I told myself I'd never cry over a guy but it hurts so bad. He knew how much it took me to open up and be comfortable with him and now he's completely vanished.
mattycash
@V4LENTYNE hahaha that gave me a wee laugh, thank you. Forever going to be an Arsenal hater now. It literally sucks so much because he just have noticed by now and there has been no effort to contact me. Sucks so much. Thank you lovely <3
V4LENTYNE
MEN ARE AWFUL… he was English anyway! Jokes aside , the vanishing act is the worst, I hope that you find someone that recognises your importance and treats you the way you deserve to be treated <3
mattycash
I'm hoping he hasn't but I think he might have ghosted me...
mattycash
@-emeLIAA I'm trying. Nothing so far. The thing is with the app is that if you delete it, you lose your account so he wouldn't have access to our messages anymore which is why I suggested Snapchat in the first place.
-emeLIAA
@mattycash maybe try the place yous met even if he doesn’t use it anymore, he might go on it again to get in contact with you
mattycash
I feel like people don't appreciate how much you actually learn from being single your whole life. I know how to look after myself, I know what I want, I know how to communicate effectively and I know how to love myself. Just because I've never had a boyfriend before, it does not make me incapable of having one or being in a relationship. And the pressure of settling down? What pressure? There is no pressure. That's what I want. I'm not saying we run off and get married right away but it's not pressure if it's something that I'm also open to exploring. I don't feel like people truly appreciate what it's like to be chronically single unless they've actually been chronically single or are chronically single.
mattycash
I promise that one day my account will become more than just a space for me to rant about guys.
mattycash
Is it me or is he being a little dickish? Idk if he's just oblivious but I am stressed out of my mind rn. He springs on me at 7pm tonight that he's inviting his friend round to discuss how she admitted to liking him the other day. "I have no idea what I'm going to say to her lol", guess what babe? Me neither! I don't know if he thinks he's been clear with me because he was literally messaging me this morning about couples things but I am an anxious girly who overthinks everything and I am so stressed rn. I asked him if we could talk later and he said yeah but that was 5 hours ago... He said that they were having a big heart to heart but this man is always asleep by midnight and I don't want to message him again and come across as really needy but at the same time, I'm desperate to talk to him because I have no idea where I stand rn. He's always so honest with me which I appreciate but I need it to be spelled out to me to stop my brain from overthinking everything. Anyway, I promise that I'll go back to writing and books one day so you'll no longer have to hear about my relationship woes.
multifan_jams
@mattycash STOPPPP I adore u guys!! These things can be so tricky to navigate but the open communication is a good sign!! I love love love that he’s keeping u in the loop. I hope everything goes how u want it tooooo KEEP US UPDATED!! <333333
mattycash
@multifan_jams sooo, he's messaged me about what happened last night. He told his friend he can't imagine dating her because he has feelings for me but they then got talking about if I'd be right for him because he'd want this to be his last relationship and this would be my first and he wouldn't want to put that pressure on me (in a very nice way, I told him that I don't want him to make that decision for me. I hate when people make decisions for me haha) and he's said he's going to take some time over the weekend to figure out what he wants moving forward. I've basically told him that I do really like him (he said he feels the same :')) and now we're just kind of getting into all the intricacies of it. I at least know what's going on now but it has done nothing to ease my anxiety haha x
mattycash
@multifan_jams thank you sooo much, girl! I sent him a quick wee goodnight message last night and he didn't pick it up until this morning. He told me that they did lots of talking, he didn't sleep much and that he'd tell me about it later (doesn't really help settle the nerves). He's being really sweet which I'm hoping is a good sign. He told me that she crashed at his last night but he assured me nothing happened between them.
mattycash
Things were going really well and now his friend has told him that she likes him. Of course she does. She's 28 and also lives in Newcastle so she's got that going over me. He's not decided yet because he was really surprised by it but he says that we connect better on a romantic level, as well as having that friendly level that he and her share. I was going to tell my mum about him tomorrow but now I don't know whether to hold off until he's made a decision or do I tell my mum and hope that influences his decision? I really, really like him and we called tonight and it was so great but all I could think about was what if it was the last call? I really don't want it to be over already.
mattycash
@CENTRALCZN yeah, I decided to wait because if I told my mum only for him to turn round and say he was going to pursue things with his friend, I would have been humiliated. Waiting a wee bit longer. Thanks for the advice, girl <3
CENTRALCZN
trust me girl, do not say anything to anyone yet!! one thing men do is go back on certain decisions/words. make sure he is 100% invested before you say anything to anyone (including family) just in case he turns around and makes you look silly by choosing the friend later on down the line
mattycash
@V4LENTYNE yeah, thank you :) I know. I'm trying not to get my hopes up and treading carefully. Thanks, babe xx