swt_melon

Hello, I'm so sorry for disturbing. If this message is bothering you, please just delete it. 
          
           I've published my first story on wattpad. I don't want any votes or anything, but I need someone who will REALLY read and give me a feedback. I'd be so happy with your help! Here it is, 
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/360918663?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=swt_melon
          
          If the link isn't working you can find it on my profile, have a nice day❤

meeshamoosha

@swt_melon of course! happy to help a fellow writer!
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swt_melon

Awwww thank you so much you made me so happy TT  I'll consider your sentences, they are so precious❤
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meeshamoosha

@swt_melon okay, so i just finished reading all five chapters, and i think it's a very interesting story. the way you describe olivia's emotions really draws the reader in, and it made me feel like i was in her shoes. the only part i'd comment on was the dialogue. there was nothing wrong with it in particular, but the way you separated them and added actions/internal thoughts to the end of them made me confused, and sometimes, i wouldn't know who was saying the dialogue. that's really only thing i'd make sure of so that the reader isn't confusing by who's saying what, but overall, amazing job so far. can't wait to see what happens next!
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