Lonely

I miss everyone... I miss my old friend group, my elementary friends, my uncles, my biological father. I miss them. I miss my old online friend, he was an amazing person. He made me laugh and even though we were continents apart we found a way to communicate. But he left out of no where. I don't know what I did wrong. I miss my biological father who I haven't seen in years. I miss my old friend group, we laughed and laughed. I miss the hugs, us talking. I miss my elementary friends, oh how we would play around together. All of us walking home together. I miss my uncles, we all used to get along so well, but government and family problems rised quickly, not as if they weren't always there to begin with. I miss everything, I feel stuck. I fee as if everyone if moving on from all the pictures I see of them. Not of my elementary friends though, we haven't spoke or seen each other in years, we lost contact. I feel trapped in my own home, I want to go out. I want to catch up with my friends and hold them. Hug them. Tell them how much I missed us hanging out.

I need help understanding my feelings. Okay, look so there's this friend that I've been friends with for 5 years. We are best friends. But the thing is, I recently started to find myself smiling so much when they're around. I get so happy and it's as if I could tell them anything. But I hold back a lot. 
          
          I also got Instagram recently and whenever I get a notification I catch myself hoping it's them. Recently, I found photos of my best friend with their other friends, and well they look so happy with them and it hurts. Cause I feel like they are happier with them then with me. I also get jealous whenever my cousins get to close with my best friend and honestly, I don't even know anymore. I don't understand how I feel. 
          
          I love being friends with them, I do but there are moments where I just can listen to them for hours. Or I catch myself thinking of them. Oh and my best friend has a lover but I don't feel any sort of jealousy towards them.

Helloo People! How are you all?! 
          So far for me, school sucks as hell. I have to much late due assignments that honestly I feel like giving up on them and just focus on the classes I'm doing somewhat good, since I will be attending summer school to make up some classes.