MIKI

from encountering creative blocks to writing nonstop while drunk and in the middle of baylehan (coz of sunod sunod na fiestahan) it's such an experience writing chap 8 of alas dose HAHAHAHA

just a random midnight thought.
          
          so, i have this book called big magic creative living beyond fear by elizabeth gilbert. and i never really read it continuously page by page, instead, i treated it as my tarot card. whenever i experience a creative block, or i can't make a progress while writing a specific chapter, i just flip the page and stop whenever it feels right. and i read the page then reflect on the specific line/paragraph that speaks to me the most at that very moment.
          
          tonight, it was this:
          
          "everything is in place-tidy and final.
          except that it was neither tidy nor final.
          because nothing is ever tidy or final."
          
          and i thought that, damn, we're really just here to experience the 'becoming' and not being perfect. there's nothing wrong with working towards perfection, by the way. i just think that working towards it robs away our chances to know our authentic selves. and i also don't think being perfect should be given as a description to any human because being a real one requires being messy and chaotic.
          
          and overtime, what seems perfect in our point of view will soon be changed by different and a lot modern perspectives. so, the best thing we can do is to create art without having expectations and just let the trying times and current trends reflect on those arts. we'll never know if there will be a more advanced human civilization who decides to study the arts that were created in this millennium. they won't be able to fully understand the joy and meaning it brought to the artists and the people it resonated with, though. but it will surely decode something unique about their community and their way of thinking.

i had the most fun writing the chap 7 of alas dose wwkkwkkwkksk

the 2:22 frame in kung payagan - cup of joe official lyrics visualizer— and eliseo's final words were, "kung papayagan ng tadhana..." GULAT AQ

gusto kong gumawa ng special chapter ng multo in sns au format as a form of emotional detox sa ending ng AM (it wasn't supposed to be like that kaya i still couldn't get over) huhu. tapos super crack lang, walang actual na patutunguhan, puro kalokohan, tapos siguro sobrang down bad nila sa isa't isa ganon...

writing in pure tagalog or english felt like i'm doing a homework brooo, felt so contained when i couldn't use any other language. (i never missed a homework btw) pero ayun, one chapter left before i jayjay-the-jetplane-meme'd ang mensahero. huhu i will miss them!

how do ao3 au writers construct/seek their fic and chapter titles. bcs wdym you can put these words together:
          "still, the light will follow, crashing down around me, lapping at my ankles like the tide"
          "breathing dirt until your lungs are waterlogged and aching"
          "where even the floor you walk is art" 
          
          felt like i'm in the presence of a divine being, so pure and firm. CRYING COZ LORD I ASPIRE TO WRITE LIKE THIS

sayteeed sa sandali ep!!! sana maambunan ng ideya para sa special chap ng mult—

the horror in my face when i found out i typed elle instead of eliseo as i write the next chapter of ang mensahero 

genuinely curious about how other authors can juggle two or more wips at the same time...
          in my case, as i review my two wips, there's a leak in the characters' personalities. like this character in one story tends to act like this character in another story and vice versa. i can'ttt— the boundaries aren't distinguished enough, bruh.
          
          and now that i'm enjoying writing alas dose, i'm scared that if i touch ang mensahero, it would go off course— [knocks on wood]
          
          if ever i won't be able to finish AM before this month ends, let's just pretend i didn't publish it :>