mikiesque

FEELING EMOTIONAL RN BUT HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE!!!!!

writing another historical fiction just brought me back to when i wrote the screenplay of our historical film in college. our program is stem-related but we’re all so passionate about making the best film we could ever showcase (namali talaga ata kami ng binagsakang program, lol). 
          
          that film earned all the titles, except for one. I just forgot what it is.
          
          but, i earned the best writer and best screenplay titles.
          
          BUT… lahat ata talaga may kapalit, no? heck, lahat kami nag-dos sa anaphy. yis, galing. that professor… really have that grudge towards our block second year pa lang… and congrats, hindi ko pa rin siya makalimutan :>>>
          
          nightmare. nightmare talaga yung time na yun. lalo na for those who were aiming for… [sighs]
          
          so yeah, the writing of Ang Mensahero is like facing my 'bubog', fearlessly walking on the shattered glass with my feet all bare. and what's surprising is, the piercing of the shards into my skin just does not hurt me anymore.

one moment, i was stressing out how to finish my entry in ONC PH 2026...
          
          then the next moment, i'm celebrating Ang Mensahero for finishing Third Place!!!

okay, here me out.
          
          what eafff—
          
          college au wherein edgar and gian are twins
          
          edgar as the confident twin; basketball team captain pero known to have a casanova complex; for years, has been eyeing the top student of the star section; laking pinas
          
          gian as the shy twin; eventually became a band vocalist nang umuwi siya sa pinas; laking qatar; naging close sa top student because they're classmates.
          
          
          tapos ang bgm sa utak ko:
          
          oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both
          oh yes, they both
          oh yes, they both reached for
          the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
          oh yes, they both reached for the gun

it's nice to play around words and symbolisms when writing!
          
          all those parallelism and mirroring of events, with an aim to tickle some nerve endings on the reader's brain...chef's kiss when executed very well (i'm still working on it)
          
          but as a writer, i truly appreciate those comments na nagpopoint out ng mga yon ♡♡♡

heavily resonated with the lyric "drank a pot of coffee, tried to write, nothing came out" from the song maggots for brain by olivia rodrigo because of analysis-paralysis + higher brain short-circuiting combo attacking me for a few days now.
          
          then the first thing i read when i open a book is "we make things because we like making things," and i just stared at the wall for a few seconds turned minute or maybe a lot more.

staring at my outline and [insert exhaling emoji]
          okay, one chapter left before sila mag——iisipin ko na lang, ako si Lord na naglalaro ng puzzle. at kapag nabuo ko na yung picture, syempre guguluhin ko ulit para masaya MEJEJWJEJJE

rereading multo to write and rewrite the plot of alas dose, pero di ko maiwasang madala sa kilig WKWKSKWKWKWK

whenever i click the publish/post button, i always feel like i'm entering a flow state

okay so ik that yk what ik talking about mowm, pero since nabangit sa first book na nabigyan si kaye ng raffle para sa banda nina rapha, i think during nov- jan sila, tapos since usually mga ganong time exams na tas napressure si elle tas doon napagtanto ng dalawa na as friends lang pala sila. SANA MAGETS HUHU