lele

Sadly, I am the person who has to be away from her family to find peace.

I didn't grow up having role models.
          I grew up having people I didn't want to be like and seeing situations I'd never want to be in. That was enough.

When you're raised by an emotionally immature parent, you're told over and over again how much they did for you, what they sacrificed, and how difticult life was with you.
          
          Self esteem is damaged and the core belief becomes I am a burden.

          "ئەنجامی بدە چونکە وتیان ناتوانیت"
          
          ـ ئەوە ئەو وتە هاندەرەیە کە ویستم لەگەڵتان هاوبەشی پێ بکەم ئەمڕۆ 
          
          “Do it because they said you couldn’t”
          
          -That’s the motivation I wanted to share with you today
           
          
          "افعلها لأنهم قالوا إنک لا تستیع"
          
          ـهذا هو الدافع الذي أردت مشارکتە معک

I just want a day where it feels like I’m not falling apart anymore, is that too much to ask for?

To exist is to suffer, but to suffer is to live. Only in death we find true peace!

And all of a sudden i feel really tired. Like the world has drained me for everything that i had

So tell me, how long will I continue
          being dead before I die?
          Because this breathing feels more like bleeding

I wanna rip out my intestines, throw them in the sea.
          I wanna cover myself head to toe with super sexy scars.
          I want to be torn apart excruciatingly.
          The scary thoughts are spreading like a weed.
          The thoughts that say that I deserve to bleed.
          I wanna take a knife and draw a line across my chest.
          

خــوێـنــەری بـە آزیـزمـ
          
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/410279528?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=Jeon_Mora97