hi. u obvi know me.
You love mal, (he may not be your first crush nor first love, but he's different from all those guys who made you feel in love and in the end, well...hurt you) and because of these mixed feelings he would always give you whenever the both of you would encounter, you wanna spread love and chessy shiz and that's why you made the Crush x Reader book which is now, well, loved by a lot of peeps.
You haven't updated yet not cause of the excuse of having schoolworks and exams, but you've been cherishing the moment of being with Mal every weekend, thinking about Mal 24/7, and well, feeling thankful and happy cause you believe that having him is your best blessing that came in your life. Or sometimes it's the opposite: you being too emotional and dramatic because you didn't see Mal or you weren't satisfied of seeing him for like 2 seconds.
I just want to tell you that even if you failed some of those challenges to prove people and God that you love Mal, and that you deserve him and he deserves you, you will still fight. Because you love him. And even if you get tempted easily, I know you already learned from your mistakes and won't let temptation get in between the both of you. You will fight for your love, and for Mal. Prove them you love him! You will face more challenges and I know you'll be stronger, for him, for your future that you always planned.
Don't give up. If you give up, Mal wouldn't like it if he ever finds out. He'll be very disappointed. Trust God. If you wish for something pure and good, God shall make a way for him to grant that wish. All you have to do is hope for the best, have faith and trust (and pixie dust lmao), and BELIEVE.
Sometimes you always get to have a lot of challenges to see if it's worth it and to see if you really love something or someone.
So I'm rooting for the both of you.
You can do this :)