urgirl_freja_isthebest

My boyfriend's got this thing where he'll be like 'i miss you, i wanna talk to you' then take up to 2-3 hrs to respond to my texts. It's stupid, and he's pissin me off

So i texted my boyfriend, who lives in Albania, yesterday bc i was overthinking, and it takes around a minute before he's calling me.
          That's cute, right?
          But then he says 'what did you do to yourself' and damn that hit harder than when my therapist says it.

So annoying arguing w older people. I'm arguing q a 21 whether the reel he send me looks like him or me. Motherfucker just pulls the 'i'm older i'm right' card like wtf i'm supposed to do now???

You have to learn how to put yourself first, it's hard knowing you hurt the ones you shouldn't, and sometimes the ones you don't want to, but in the end things will turn out the way they are meant to.
          
          But if you save yourself, you can't go back to save the others, at least that is what it felt like, but once you save yourself, you can guide the others to their salvation.
          
          People are too hard on themselves, and once you bring yourself down, it takes longer to come back up, you keep trying but it never seem like the pain will end, never seem like the light really shines like it used to, but it will, some day.
          
          When two victims take the blame from the real villain, they don't see the other taking it, too. When two people take the blame from the one who scarred them, the one who put them in the dark place to begin with, they don't see a way to help them both, and they put the other first thinking it's the right thing.
          
          Don't blame yourself, you were just a kid, too young to understand, but old enough to feel, to be influenced by the monster who lurked between us, who drove us apart and ruined us all.
          
          Those around us was never with us, they believe the goodness in everyone, even when they themselves have no good.
          
          Seeing you, i can't help but wonder, how much did you fight? How much did they put on you? How many times did they put you down? All because they chose a monster?
          
          I don't know, and i don't see the pain it cost you, but i can understand, because after what happened happens, you don't trust anyone anymore.
          
          I still support you, just from afar because i know, if i was there, it wouldn't be the same, it would be a constant reminder of the suffering.
          
          We both grow, bloom into flowers, but beautiful flowers take longer, but i know that the waiting it worth, because you will be the brightsest flower in the eden gardens one day, and when you are look back and know i stand by, not now, but in the journey, and will be just a call away.

If you aren't their first priority, their not yours.
          
          That's how it is, and how it should always be, you are your first priority, but you are still a priority to them, and they are still a priority to you. 
          
          Sometimes, people make hard desicions, sometimes people take time to understand the desicions others have made, they process what they need and use the time to understand. Life is full of different emotions, some complicated and some easier. 
          
          Does one need a reason to be hurt? When you feel betreyal in such levels that your heart numbs when you think about it? Does one need to tell the people they love when they broke them, when things they do are obvious wrongs? 
          
          Some are forgiving, some things are easy to forgive, some don't, and some things are hard to forgive.
          
          Sometimes, people who the thought is not aimed at get the consequences. Sometimes, people who, though did the right thing, does it in short ways. 
          
          You never know what a person really feels, and maybe their emotions are so complicated that they don't see head or heels in them, and they can't express themselves correctly.
          
          Maybe their waiting until they are ready to come back, their waiting for the time they can see you without the dread of what happened weighs upon them.
          
           They never saw you with hatred, but with grief, because they know what happened to you, too, and they feel guilt for never playing their part, never trusted enough to tell, never was secure to the length they could vow their sorrows to, and know if they had nothing would have been the way it is today.
          
          Maybe they dread the future, and can't hurt the one person they would die for ever again, can't hurt the person who always made sure they weren't in pain.
          
          Maybe they love you so much, they can't bare the thought of what they never did could have saved you, in the past and in the future.
          
          But maybe they learned, maybe they found a way that they can help, only if you want the help.
          
          They did, so they wait, always.

Someone once said if you are not his first priority, he shouldn't be yours either. It was me. I said that, and it's something you should always remember

Yk what's crazy? The fact that ppl have normalized us teens and kids being traumaized. It's stupid honestly, like it shouldn't be something 'normal', it's horrifying and parents should be better at supporting they're children equally

He's talking about us taking a trip to iceland, where he's from, idk how to react like wtf???
          I'm dying, this man wanted to pay for a whole fucking trip for us, i might marry him istg 

i caught myself smiling at his text, this shits getting crazy mann

i can FINALLY listen to big boy by SZA knowing i have one, it's the dream come truee