MiChaeng is Real

Pls .stop pushing me away ...
          Don't worry .. I'm choosing to.let go my feeling for u ...,i will stay here ...
          I need more time ...kasi hanggang ngayun masakit padn ...mahal padn kita ....
          I swallow all ...my pride ..to communicate with u ...pero why ...,we are friends right?
          Why ...? Bakit ...bakit mo.ako iniwasan ?
          I'm sorry for your loss ....i know ...nasasaktan ka at nahihirapan ngayun ..pero ,don't ignore me ...like this ...! It's killing me ...i'm stupid ...i know ...ok i'm done ....really ...

Slowly moving on? 
          Everytime i open my wattpad ...i come here ,and think ... It feels so heavy...
          Yeah,the feelings is still there ...can't lie

When you're feeling ok ...but you look so tired.. Can't breath properly ...i don't know why .., i can't cry even i want to cry really bad ...
          I don't have a choice but to keep going ...

Why .... Everytime i read michaeng stories, vids.. I alsways think about you ..., i don't know if ita only onesided .., i can myself to mina ..,the way she look at chaeng ...there's a pain inside ...,  i know that feeling ,God knows how hard .., i cried at night ,no one knows ...it's because of this stupid feelings...! Its alredy been 1 year ,4 months and 3 days ...since the last time ... We diddn't even say goodbye to each other ...
          Why until now ..i'm still carrying this pain inside me ...i still can feel it right inside my heart ...i can't breath.... I want to disappear ..i want to end this pain ...but i can't ...because of my family still need me ...
          but sometime,...no ...always ,i thingking ,that the car will crash and causing me to coma state ... I want to forget everything ,i want rest for a while ... ,if that happen ..will you cry for me? ...will you pray for my life ? 
          While life is so unfair for me ...why i always fall inlove with the person that i can't have ...

I think i'll better stop here ...too much , i look like Miserable ...human ,
          What happen to you self??? Pls. Stop it already ...she also don't care ... Stand up ...pls .. this is the last time .... I will end it here ... I want to be happy and free ... 

Sabi q na nga bah ..eh ,pero y? ..i mean, she want me to wait ..and ask me to stay single ..until we meet? Really? For real ? Woah ...
          She have feelings for me ..but she have a girlfriend ..,

My heqrt feels so heavy again ...it's ok ..self ..you need to continue breathing ..to live  .keep going 

I don't know,.. I'm still inlove with you? ...kasi everytime ..na mapapanuod q yung michaeng video ngayun ...naalala kita ...yung mga time na ..iniwasan kita ...yung mga time na sobrang hirap,sobrang sakit...pero wla akng magagawa ,wlang mapagsasabhan ...yung feeling na ..iniisip q nlng na sana ...matapos n lahat ..para d n kita makita ...kahit alam kng gusto ng puso ko ...na makasama kpa ...kahit na gusto kitang yakapin ...,gusto kng aminin ..yung feelings q .pero wla eh, ...wla akng lakas ng loob ...i'm sorry that time..na iniwasan kita ..alam kng nasaktan kita ..pero mas dinudurog ako ... I wish you are happy now ...sa knya ... 

Dear Shem, 
          
          Akala q nka move on nq sayo ...kasi dahil kay Tie, ..pwro bigla syang nawala tulad n Gem ..
          I dont know why ...always like that ...but i need to keep going ...
          
          Just now ...ni share q yung cover ng Realize ..tas ni  mo ..then suddenly ..naluha aq .. Haist shem ... Sana kng pqwde na pwede pa ..ingat ka lagi jn .stay safe.. I still love u see u ..again ..

I miss you.. 
          Sana happy ka.. I still love you.. At nasasaktan ako.. Kasi binabalewala mo n q..  Why?  Gusto m nang kalimutan aq ng tuluyan.. OK fine.. Kng yan ikasasaya mo