monzca wixes

I'm so upset right now. I want to drink so bad

I feel like absolute crap right now. I relapsed and I feel like nobody actually gives a shit, but when I drink it's every ones problem. I'm so damn close to offing myself. I'm so done with my fucking life right now I swear to god, I just can't do this shit anymore. I'm so sick of living

Hey everyone! I'm in need of $100 for my teeth as my disability doesn't cover the packing they will put in my gums when my two teeth are removed! My commissions are open and I have two pride YCH'S on my Instagram @monzca_wixes. Please check out my Instagram and see if you or someone you might know would possibly commission me!

I have a question about something that's been on my mind for quite awhile now... Is it bad that I suspect my boyfriend to be cheating on my brother? My brother has dated my ex's before and honestly I could see him trying to get together with my boyfriend. Like my boyfriend stays up at night hanging out with him while our son and I sleep.... I decided to wait up for him tonight hoping to get some cuddles and possibly sex but... When he came in the room he looked at me and asked what I'm doing awake and, just for context he knows I'm extremely depressed and suicidal as he mentioned my ex earlier and I had to explain that he would hurt me infront of my family and they didn't do anything to stop it, and when I answered I'm drawing, he didn't reply and just went into my brothers room... Maybe I'm just jealous that they seem to be able to spend more time together and get along better or maybe I'm just being over dramatic and clingy.... But it doesn't make my fears lessen... I want to talk to him but I have already, and he said that nothing is going on and he's not gay... I want to believe him but the little voice in the back of head head is constantly telling me that it's only a matter of time before he cheats on me like how all my other partners chested on me.... I haven't talked to anyone about this and I've been dying to get it off my chest. This is my only safe place away from my boyfriend and family....  I'm just so worried that I'm not good enough  

So my lemon book was taken down  I seriously don't care, I just kept it up for all you weirdos to enjoy. I had fun reading all your comments, it was fun while it lasted. Thank you all for reading that cringeworthy lemon book  
          
          Also I will probably never write a lemon book again, but the books I will/do have on here will include a lemon or two. 
          
          Again thank you all for staying with me for all these years. 

Felt good today but of course nothing good ever lasts 

I want to know more about shadowtale it's seem cool
          

-VENT-
          
          
          
          What hurts like hell is when I'm going through my Instagram and I see all these couples with their babies or they are pregnant and they look so happy... and it makes me so jealous and upset because that's what I wanted when I was pregnant, but what I got was rejection and I was told to get rid of the baby.... i know it's been over a year but it still really hurts because all I wanted was to like those couples, to be accepted and take cute photos with each other with my baby bump and just be happy. Like I cant even read romance books anymore without worrying that the characters will have a baby and be happy because it just reminds me of all the things I cant and probably never will have.... its honestly killing me and I cant talk to my boyfriend about this because I dont want him to get upset with himself..... I dont know.... I'm sobbing right now just thinking about it and it hurts so much.... I just wanted to post this here since I cant post it to my Instagram.... I just needed to vent 

Just gotta say this being in labour HURTS. I've been in labour for around 9 hours now and I'm sitting here just wanting this baby OUT. lmao so yeah just a tip, when they ask you if you want pain medication, TAKE IT WHILE YOU CAN. also its now 2 am where I am. But I regret NOTHING!! lmao hope y'all are having a better time than I am!

To all my readers, I'm very sorry for not posting or updating any of my books. My phone is currently broken and unable to do anything and it has been for a while. As soon as I can get a new phone I will start updating my books again. I love you all and thank you for staying with me.