drowningeditor

Hello! 
          So sorry for how long its been since i replied. 
          Here's what i wanted to say:
          
          Your writing style is the problem here, because its not your first language. So read as much as you can, READ, READ. I can't go through your punctuation without addressing your actual writing style, essentially i'm saying I'd change it too much. 
          
          Bottom line: Read and get better at stringing sentences and words together. 
          
          Can't wait to see how you go :)    
          
          Thanks,
          
          Drowingeditor.

drowningeditor

Hello,
          
          Couldn't post on your story so here you go :)
          
          You asked me to read your novel/short "Killing Isabelle." I haven't read much but i can tell you what i know so far. 
          
          1. Your prologue shifts from first person to an odd third person that tells everyone what's going on (as if it's a blurb). You need to chose one, it's very off-putting for a reader. 
          
          2. Your writing style is like the above mentioned. It's too "I did this, I did that." You need to explain your ideas fully, describe. The perfect author has a balance between telling the story and describing what's happening. 
          
          3. Your structure needs work. Every new idea is a new paragraph (meaning new line not a space in between), every new scene/place is a new line. 
          
          4. Your punctuation and grammar also need work. 
          
          By the way is English your first language? 
          
          Cheers, 
          
          Drowningeditor.