@moonlitbamboo
the cc x katseye crossover can happen they have enough members omg
macey = megan
mist = manon
zwei = sophia
val = yoonchae
clarent = daniela
excal = lara
hallo 2025. crazy year i always thought about how old i would be in this and that year when i was still in kindergarten and it was a big deal to me turning 20 because that screamed full-on adult with real world responsibilities
and well i'm still 19 but i'll be turning 20 in august and it's just so so weird to me rn that not only am i still alive, but am actually in university studying something i have never anticipated i'd be studying (probs because kids don't care about this program or this niche that much lmfao)
i use this site as my "proxy twitter" of some sort when i wanna say something that's out of sight but somewhere i can always revisit easily. it's also why i thought about maybe starting a blog and writing biweekly, but when it comes to my personal life, it's hard to set it straight and articulate my emotions without intellectualizing it. i guess my resolution is to do less of that and do more of actually feeling lol
i'm not going through a crisis, in case future me who'll be reading this is wondering. i'm just pondering and looking back. i've come so far, and i've only been as brave as i allow myself to be. maybe another resolution is to fully break out of my comfort zone. all the times that i did is just me hyping myself up knowing there's a safety net below me just in case i fall again. this year, i'm taking more risks! hopefully
well, idk. university is just such a bumbling place with so much opportunities here and there. it'd be a waste not to pounce on two or three of them. maybe i'll think about organizations more seriously this time and try to assess myself objectively. i still cannot give myself due credit without the acknowledgement of a person with authority so like fjskfjwjsh let's unlearn that one too and believe in my own genius that can exist outside of academia
this message is a mess. i guess i wanted to say that we'll only go farther and further from this point onward
didn't put it out there but maybe i'll start being less scared to explore my identity this year
i swear every time i reread sms and get to the part where lae's full name is revealed i just get this urge to try and crack the code. i know i can't, but i got *some* things right in the story so now i feel like i'm so close to getting it but i just know i'm not. i'm like sisyphus, in a sense
i wake up to do some light studying and readings (rereading sms) and all of a sudden they updated the wattpad logo for something seasonal like ok
one month since that whole message thing i posted and my update is i do love my friends like i've never loved anyone more. also i have 5 red bulls in my arsenal because i love my friend so much i'm giving all of that to him so he will stay up all the time
you think i couldn't get any more suicidal but then boom one month in university
seeing usaida with midori really gives me sm baby fever... like im getting that man PREGNANT
going thru trials (socmed break) (i cant overshare on my priv twt) (everything i wanna say is either on a docx file or here) (sasabog na ako sa kilig over doukyuusei and i cant even tell anyone abt it)
and the comedy in that is im not so touchy and loving to them as well... im sorry mine is a life of much shame (expressing emotions)
but ig it's in how they spend the mundane tgt that gets me :') idt i'll ever with anyone in a romantic sense but yk. there's a tinge of yearning. i think i just miss my friends a little bit more than usual today
but anyway doukyuusei is how i always imagined my hs puppy love to go like bahahaha except im not a man and i dont study in all boys school and ive already graduated from hs anyway. the funniest cherry on top in this one is that im aromantic LMAOOOOOO
why must the lord punish me this way (masakit puson)
woAAAAAAAHHHH HUWAG NA HUWAG MONG SASABIHIN NA HINDI MO NADAMA ITONG PAG IBIG KONG HANDANF IBIGAY KAHIT PA KALAYAAN MO