k.

i said like 6 days ago i’d be back with a more lighthearted post after a handful of doom posting and i forgot LMFAO anyways here i am trying to be active like i said i would and say i’ve been thinking about coming off hiatus and writing/publishing! 
          
          i’ve actually been really attached to these ANCIENT lord of the rings/hobbit fics i came up with when i was like… 12 LOL and i already have 2 and a half chapters of it written! lowkey thinking about posting it if anybody would be interested. i’m exploring skin changers in them (it’ll be a duology, one for the hobbit and one for lotr) so it’ll be multi pov, blah blah blah. it’s probably the first thing i ever came up with fanfic wise way back when pre-pubescent me was obsessed with legolas (spoiler: 25 year old me still is) so mayhap that will be the first thing i post if anyone out there would like that… hahahaha jk…unless!!!!?????
          
          i’m also thinking about finally posting my hunger games fic in honor of the new book coming out soon mayhaps! i have a decent amount written for that too. i’m also slowly working on writing fear the others so there can be more than an act divider up but that’s taking longer i fear, what with my utter lack of motivation because of the shitstorm that’s the cast and crew. but i do miss liz a lot so i’m gonna try. 
          
          i’ve been so hard to get back into writing after struggling with so much in my personal life and it has been nice to start doing it again! i feel like i’ve improved a lot and could finally enter my finish a fic for once era. we’ll see. 
          
          anyways i hope everyone is doing ok and that life is treating everybody well. good night or good morning, love ya <3

you guys i’m gonna be sooo honest rn, the past few days have been really heavy as an american and i have genuinely been on the verge of tears watching clips of the inauguration LMFAOOOO like hello???? i have never felt so much despair and helplessness and anxiety i can’t even enjoy doom scrolling. watching el*n musk salute THAT, all the insanity that tr*mp spewed and generally watching the entire evening go down (on martin luther king jr day MIND YOU) has put an actual hole in my chest.
          
          oh also not even a full day in office and there are already mass deportations and a website on women’s reproductive rights was taken down. wattpad dot com we’re cooked. 
          
          idk if anyone can relate but i also live in texas and some of the girlies i thought were cool at work love this man so much it’s scary and it feels so isolating and almost like… betrayal? yeah it feels like betrayal of womanhood or whatever idk. it’s just an awful feeling to live in an area that tends to be more right wing/red and absolutely not feeling safe enough to voice your opinions or stand up for what you believe in and it sucks to not have anyone around you that DOES align with your morals to have quiet solidarity with. sigh.
          
          i hope everybody is doing okay, especially my fellow american mooties and followers. maybe tomorrow i’ll get back on for a more light hearted post idk. good night guys. 

i’m not surprised tiktok came back but i am surprised it only took less than 24 hours for them to “work with president tr*mp” to bring it back, i was banking on it being at least a week before the servers were rebooted. 
          
          don’t forget why this even happened in the first place, which is looking more and more like a ploy by tr*mp and the government to concoct a fake problem to solve to try and look like our saviors. don’t forget tiktok’s CEO just sold out and is leaning into extreme right wing propaganda. don’t forget this sets a precedent. stay locked in folks. 

to add to my last post, i also feel like we aren’t worried enough about the impact the tiktok ban is going to have on people currently going through crisis both in and out of america.
          
          the ONLY reason i am as educated about palestine is because of how much information i was exposed to on tiktok. and not even just information, but accounts from people IN palestine. the same goes for sudan, congo, yemen. literally anywhere. the ban will not only stop that information from being spread to americans, but it’s also now stopping palestinians from REACHING an audience! 
          
          and in america, tiktok was a HUGE support for people going through homelessness, dv situations, natural disasters! the victims of the last hurricane were able to make money from their videos! the same for the victims of california fires now! that will all now be gone. both monetary and community support is gone.
          
          everything about it is concerning. i need more of us to lock in and open our orbs to just how much this is going to impact people outside of funny videos or influencers. 
          
          anyway good night i’m opening ao3 to relieve the shakes.
          
          
          
          
          
          

not the tiktok ban forcing me out of hiatus at 10 o’clock pm on a saturday… not only am i tweaking but i’m also having so many thoughts so bear with me LMFAOOOO
          
          the end part of the tiktok’s ban message about tr*mp was genuinely so… i’m not surprised but i am surprised by the amount of people who are not concerned with this. like. do we not see what’s happening here? tiktok WILL likely make a come back and it WILL be framed to make that man look like he saved us. and do you know what that’s gonna do? brainwash an entire generation of young people who are addicted to and reliant on tiktok into thinking “wow this guy is awesome” and i dread to think what that kind of impact can have on the next election.
          
          and not to yuck anyones yum, but to non-americans, particularly europeans who are like “ahaha the americans are leaving haha why would i care” i have a question… what makes you think you’re exempt from this kind of thing happening to you? what makes you think you’re not next? all this is setting a precedent— either the app really will stay banned, which is a direct infringement of free speech, or the app will come back but it will be because of capitalism and control. this SHOULD worry you, whether you’re american or not. we’re either looking at a violation of the constitution or an extreme case of capitalism perpetrated by billionaires who are quite literally trying to take control of everything around them. this could happen to absolutely anyone now.
          
          just some initial thoughts i’m having in the midst of the brainrot withdrawals i’m already having rn. hope y’all are doing okay <3

          hi friends <3 just thought i’d pop in with a small life update and to say a few things!
          
          first of all, i realized this morning i never updated anyone after my mom’s car accident LOL? but both she and my aunt are okay, they had concussions and pain but nothing lasting or damaging thankfully. thanks to all who left nice comments on the post about it, you’re so kind and thoughtful <3
          
          second, i wanted to update that after months of being unable to afford to bring my sweet girl athena home (i made the choice to cremate rather than bury her, so i can have her with me always) i was FINALLY able to yesterday thanks to my new job. it was both extremely hurtful and healing, but i feel much better knowing she’s with me now.
          
          on that note, i have a new job!! one that is in the career field i want to peruse!!! i’ve been working as an early head start teacher for nearly a month now, and despite the small struggle and adjustments of being a beginner childcare giver, i love it and i’m so happy to no longer be working retail/odd jobs. i’m being cautiously optimistic that things in my life are starting to work out.
          
          (1/?)

hi all, i’m getting on to please ask you to keep me and my family in your thoughts. my mom and aunt got into a car accident today in a completely different state to where i live and we’re not sure how serious it is yet, though i’m told it wasn’t fatal or anything like that. i’m on my way to her now but it’ll be hours before we get there and i could use all the good energy possible.
          
          thank you guys, i hope you’re all doing okay. 

hi everyone! just popping in with a small hello and to say that i’m starting to do okay, and am hoping to start writing again soon! i hope ur all doing well and life is being kind to u <3
          
          i also wanted to post real quick about some face claims that have been circulating around the asoiaf/hotd fandom lately that i’ve noticed while lurking here and on tt, and i just wanted to make sure that everyone knew about their terrible behavior in case you didn’t already. and if you did, and you’re still using them, i’d suggest maybe looking for an alternative and stop using bad people in your fics. i’ll list a few alts in case anyone might need one. 
          
          — kit harrington as jon snow. kit equated the wildlings in the show to palestinians, saying “if you let a whole bunch of fucking wildlings through your gates, it’s like isr*el letting through a whole bunch of palestinians, or palestine letting through isr*elies.”
          — timothee chalamet from the king: participated in an snl skit of “hamas”. not demure or mindful. did him next bc the alternatives work for both tim and kit.
          • jon snow/kit/tim alts: harry gilby, aneurin barnard, ferdia walsh-peelo, harry collett, sebastian amoruso, dev patel, garret hedlund, kodi smit mcphee, george blaggden, luke pasqualino, giorgio belli.
          
          — sophie turner as sansa stark. this one was disappointing to find out but sophie posted twice on her insta story supporting isr*el. there are also videos of her saying the n word.
          — kaitlyn dever from rosaline: posted in support of isnotreal. did next bc alts work for both her and sophie.
          • sansa stark/sophie/kaitlyn alts: rachel hurd-wood, isolda dychauk, charlotte hope, georgie henley, amelia gething, ellie bamber, halle bailey, christa theret, alicia von rittberg, ceara coveney, erin kellyman.
          
          (1/3)

hi y’all <3 apologies for how long it’s been since i was last active, but i am here with a small update/announcement about my life & account.
          
          over the last year and a half, several things have happened in my life and to my family that have taken up the majority of my time and mental energy, hence my absence from wp and my other socials. unfortunately, this all culminated last monday when my sweet pup athena passed away after suffering from heart failure. she’d been sick since february, and was doing really well on medication until the end of june when her health went down hill very fast. athena was my soul dog and best friend, who i’d had for 10 years this november, and it has hit me so hard despite being prepared for this outcome for a few weeks now. this, along with everything else that has happened to me this past year, has put me in the worst place mentally that i’ve been in for a very long time. the grief i feel is hard to explain, as i lost my grandmother and thought i knew grief, but athena was everything to me and this is affecting me in a much deeper, different way. 
          
          i’ve had a lot of time this past week to really sit in my feelings and think about my life, including the social aspect of it, and i’ve decided that i’ll be putting this account and other socials (like editing on tiktok, insta and discord) on hold for the time being. i feel as though i don’t have the mental capacity to be engaged as a writer, editor and reader, but most importantly, i do not feel as though i can be a good, present friend at the moment with the current head space i am in. i’m not sure how long i’ll be off social media, but it will be for some time while i try to get my life and mental health back on track. i won’t be deactivating my accounts, but i just simply will not be on them.
          
          (1/3)

hi friends, i wanted to get on and share this link to a go fund me for aya and the al-sabbagh family to help get them out of gaza. my lovely mutual and friend @crierayla is the one who shared this, and i encourage everyone to look at her detailed mb posts about this subject. we may not have the same reach as creators on tiktok for this kind of movement, but myself and many others have a large platform here on wattpad and we can help spread the word about families in need!!!
          
          any amount of donations help, and if you do not have the means to donate PLEASE share this link as much as you can so it can build some traction.
          
          thank you guys, i hope everyone is doing well <3
          
          https://www.gofundme.com/f/geg2u-rebuilding-hope-for-ayas-family-and-saving-them