@Jalynb2005 Yo I just looked at your book, and to be honest, I think it's pretty good. Maybe use more phrases and words that could better explain some parts/or less since you don't want to do too much of it. But overall, I give it a solid 8. Just don't forget the big picture of the idea of your story, and don't lose your motivation to write.
Hope this helps!
PeacefulYazyu