mother_jane_

Update STTB's???

mother_jane_

I like to write, I like to smoke sometimes, I like the taste of vodka because it made me feel alive. I like Indie kid, cottage core, rain core, after hours, 2am, sun rise, lofi music, vintage, retro, outfits inspired from the 1900's. I love men and woman, I love telling my friends I love them even if we don't talk. I love gay people, lesbian people. people who are in the lgbtq+ community I love them. I love fat people, skinny people, medium people. I love mirrors and art, mini art, medium art, large art. I love horror movies, and true crime stories. I like a good mystery book. I LOVE POLAROID CAMERAs and taking pictures and videos of people at their high and low. I like roblox, I love bloxburg. I love tiktok, pinterest is my baby, wattpad is my dangerous lover. I love taking a risk, making scenarios in my head. I like writing smut, I like writing things(even smuta) with friends.I like running away slowed music. I love music slowed at 2 am. I love new york and chicago. I love when people take random pictures and videos of me. I loved to be hugged. I like to be kissed. I like having people who will hurt people who hurt me emotionally, and joke about a lot of random stuff that makes me laugh when I'm upset. I love emos, I love the bus and trains, even when its dark. I like to play fight sometimes. I love consent it's hot to me. I love eyeliner.

mother_jane_

why am I always hurt in the end. I always am constantly playing mommy, and therapist and focused on how to fix peoples problems. I help and help, and listen, and take in peoples problems, but then get blamed for something I have no control over. Then I am alone ready to disappear, fall into a deep sleep and be in my own world. But i stay because people need me, and I let them push every problem on me...I feel like everybody realizes I'm here but takes advantage of me, and when they are happy, they leave, with everything I gave them. Advice, friends, money, and I'm left with nothing but scars, old ones, new ones, fresh cut red ones. I honestly don't feel human anymore, I feel programmed. I think people think that since I have a voice, and I don't want to be in drama, or start it, they bring me in it, and then leave me crying. I don't understand anymore, but I'm gonna just try to keep on moving some more, because I just started a new chapter, and I want to keep reading before the end. Hopefully I can find a voice, because I'm tired, and afraid of being left alone, and of hurting people. So i guess I hurt myself.