ᴍᴏᴛʜ !

if you wanna read anything I write, my ao3 is @lightninmoth (same as it is here) I only have one work on there as of now (called  Mask my thoughts behind my face) but I'm relatively proud of it :)

sometimes I think and that's fuckin it. I don't think about smthing I just think.

Fun fact: I have to look at colleges in two different countries because i don't know if I'll be able to move by the time I'm supposed to start :D.

I'm looking at colleges to apply to and jesus christ I knew it was gonna be difficult but good lord

Don't mind me literally crying over my online work cause I'm looking at the words but nothing is making sense

Lmao anyway my cat turned into a deadass liquid earlier he's an idiot, I mean he's fallen from my window a couple times so uhhhhhhh

[high-key vent sorry]
          lmao wtf is wrong with me? I can't work online at all and its not just procrastination it's me deadass not being able to work out how or what i'm supposed to do online however the same thing on paper makes so much more sense. I constantly crack my knuckles n' stuff even when they don't need cracking and i do it so much I can't stop and it's become a routine and I think I've actually broken my finger before because of it (of course no-one believed me tho cause why would anyone believe me). I constantly bite off sections of my cheek, bite at my skin in general, and pull or cut sections of my hair (or eyebrows lmao). I deadass almost cried yesterday because none of my family will let me get a masculine hair cut. I balled my eyes out because somebody called me my deadname. I do this twitch thing (idk the fuckin word) where I violently turn my head to the side and another one where  I deadass slap the back of my head. I just don't know anymore?? My therapist (who I haven't seen since like before Dec lol)  has said that I most likely have some type of anxiety and depression and to like check with a professional or smthing (I've slept & cried since then) but when she went to my parents about it they basically called her stupid and that she knows nothing about me (not to her face tho, gotta keep that image) and that they know everything about me when they know nothing about me. Fuck it's so stupid i just want out of this goddamn house so bad. Fuck I shouldn't even be complain it's not that bad ig fuck,, I just don't feel like I have a valid reason for anything I'm feeling and I just don't fucking know.

I never realize how hungry I am whilst I'm hyper fixating until afterwards and my stomach is deadass rumbling and I see it's been 7 hours with no breaks-

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!! I HOPE YOU HAVE A  GOOD DAY YA'LL

NAME CHANGE :: HidetheHope ➤ lightninmoth