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Last update for this account
          
          Hi. 
          My life has absolutely 180’d (in a good way). I don’t feel as depressed anymore. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t do anything I used to. I’m focusing on school, my family, and my mental health. But I’m focusing on myself too. I was always more motivated to write when I was in a shitty headspace. Don’t ask why, but if you were a young writer at one point, you know what I mean. I’m entering school to become an engineer. Biomedical engineer specifically. I’m proud of myself for the first time in forever. 
          
          I’ll always love writing. I’ll always enjoy the effort it takes to make a good story. I more so enjoy the feedback, the editing, the perfecting, making sure it’s as good as it can be. Every part of writing is fun (when I have motivation/inspiration). But I simply do not have as much motivation when I’m not in a bad headspace. Maybe it’s because it gives me something else to focus on. Maybe that’s what this was all about, just a distraction. Regardless, I found so much enjoyment and satisfaction in it. It made me feel better when I felt like garbage. 
          
          I’m doing really well. I’m not in a dangerous place anymore, I’m safe, I’m healthy (kind of), I have a loving (soon to be) husband, and I finally have the resources I need to thrive. If I told myself from a year ago that this was what was waiting for me I’d have called myself a liar. 
          But the reality is that life isn’t stagnant. Life will never be stagnant. That thought is scary to some, but it’s motivating to me now. The idea that no matter how bad it gets, it’s all temporary. Of course it takes effort to push forward in the direction you want, but you’re going somewhere in life. You are always moving. 
          
          
          So this is my final farewell. To the people who read, voted, and commented on my stories, thank you so much. I’m sorry to leave you on so many cliffhangers. Your support means everything. I’ll be leaving all my stories up, and any unfinished drafts will be posted as is. 
          Farewell!! 

Woohoo I ended up sleeping in for an extra hour. Small victories.

I’ve gotta be up in less than 2 hours to go to the gym. I feel like I can’t sleep anymore and when I do, I end up sleeping for over 10-12 hours. My sleep schedule is so fucked up 

New ink, I picked the biggest stencil. Healing fine. Bf got a blacked out 8 ball, got super infected. I can’t sleep, at least I showered for the first time in like a week (well technically 5 days). Keep hearing shit outside, heard pops last night. I can’t be bothered anymore. Brushed my teeth too, proud of myself. Idk how people have the energy to live everyday I barely had the energy to feed myself today. So dramatic I know. I’m feeling really fucking tired more than ever. I don’t know why. Gonna try and drink away the bullshit thoughts this weekend happy saint patties day

Erg I hate to sleep but resting is nice

Sleep sucks 

My anxiety’s been so fuckin bad lately no idea why but I’m so tired I wanna sleep but I’m too paranoid 

such a presence of teeth and claws,
          a scare to family unfamiliar.
          
          pointy ears and a pointy snout
          funnily, a bit similar.
          
          with time these points are sanded down,
          exposing new, soft edges. 
          
          raven fur once tinted brown,
          now grayed and hung by rougher ledges. 
          
          a different call, meaning the same
          a hymn of comfort, a song of home.
          the curious ones need five to tame
          the tired one, needs one alone.
          
          twenty four marvelous, tiny paws,
          four are weak and coy.
          twenty more with tiny claws,
          trot with strength, and run with joy. 
          
          twelve tiny, soft ears
          two are dull and worn.
          ten are alert and darting to hear,
          what the older one will scorn.
          
          six little noses,
          curious and clever.
          five will learn and grow. 
          yet one just cannot seem to remember,
          what scents of home were stowed.
          
          such a presence of worn down paws,
          a comfort to family familiar.
          
          pointy ears and a pointy snout
          yet very far from similar. 

We reached 3k reads on my Charpim book! Tysm for reading! This’ll be my second most read book of all time :D

Oof for a second there I thought markiplier and crankgameplays were beefing  nope it’s some other Ethan that runs a drama channel or smth. Thank god.