"c h a p t e r f o u r
❝And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?❞
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!” a strangled cry came from her throat, as she flew through the broken windshield of the car. The sirens of an ambulance echoed in my ear, as doctors tried to push me into a car. The held me back from my mom, trying to drag me away.
“Mom! Mom! Mom! Don’t let them take me mom!” I screamed, as I fought the doctors. I struggled in their arms, trying to run to my mom. She needed my help. She needed me. The doctors needed to let me go.
The world turned black.
***
I woke up with sweaty palms, my teeth biting my lip really hard. I groaned as I brought my head into the pillow, one tear trickling down from my eye. I dreamed about my mom a lot, recently. After Connor had his car crash, I was thinking more and more about my own car crash.
And my cold, dead, mother.
I was particularly sad this morning, because everything seemed to be...wrong. Everything was a problem, and everything was a mess. And sometimes I worried I wouldn’t be able to breathe through all of it.
I walked down the stairs with ragged breath, gripping on the stair banister with all my might. I was shaking and very pale, because the dream had seemed so..real. It was almost as if I was reliving one of the worst moments of my life over and over again.
I poured myself a cup of orange juice, and cut up some strawberries. I don’t know why I thought it would be a good idea to eat breakfast at home, but home was a comforting place for me. Actually, I take that back. Home wasn’t a comfortable, or a safe place for me, it was just familiar. And I need familiar things in my life right now. Everything seemed so uncharted for me. I wasn’t used to people suddenly entering my life again, and going blind, and I wasn’t used to reliving my mom’s death.
I turned around, and come f..." http://wattpad.com/story/6005291