Rebecca Jaimin

Hi, if you are reading this please help me i need some english people opinion on my first English story .thank you
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/294380676?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=PPISOU2&wp_originator=Rn5Bp%2F6GJUoPfUoFzaTDOjpOksiVIKXwj%2F8OHfk1qqKem9I2GuFgw6mGAz4swAAxRy4lFiN8W7qVBWN8R3%2B4HVYspC1tjEsfPNw5Jw%2BaMsWDEBkDgAajVH6zxbFdFsiw

Jemput baca :)
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/270604365?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=Deannn4&wp_originator=Gd2tfSwIjiOxwj5%2FMzu6B%2Fl5GlTMlj5%2BNev5PdfAgwNK8UsoHEE3WAet4EdqYeXrdYz2KibiEKSv%2B0H5daM8jWVOvbuywARF28iKeatq6XXXUg35JUtzi2o1vTZaFyuN