꧁༒☬𝓶𝔁 𝓼𝓸𝓹𝓱𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓭☬༒꧂

when i hit 1k followers i'll face reveal <3

pov
          
          2 sworn enemies are forced to get married
          1 is allergic to strawberries,
          so the other eats them right before the wedding
          
          <3

fun fact of the day!
          
          
          
           have made all 18/20 therapists run away/cry/quit their jobs
          
          
          
          
          
          
          the last 2 we don't talk about

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          You need one to go skydiving twice

random kid at lunch:
          "are you gay?"
          
          me:
          
          
          
          Yes Yes yes yes             yes yes              yes yes yes
          Yes yes        yes yes      yes yes        yes                     yes
          yes yes         yes yes     yes yes        yes                      yes
          yes yes          yes yes    yes yes        yes                      yes
          yes yes            yes yes yes yes              yes yes yes

when someone tries to insult you by calling you gay but you actually are: ᕦ( ͡ಥᗜ ͡ಥ)ᕥ

kid: MOM! look at dads Halloween costume!!
          mom: it's not even Halloween yet but okay...
          kid: he chooses to be a pinata!!
          mom: how would he do that
          kid: he hung himself!
          mom: 

how does a person in a wheelchair slide into someone dms???
          :]

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
          I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
          She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
          In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
          Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
          Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
          Didn't make sense not to live for fun
          Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
          So much to do, so much to see
          So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
          You'll never know if you don't go
          You'll never shine if you don't glow
          Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
          Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid
          And all that glitters is gold
          Only shooting stars break the mold
          It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
          You're bundled up now, wait 'til you get older
          But the meteor men beg to differ
          Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
          The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
          The water's getting warm so you might as well swim
          My world's on fire, how about yours?
          That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored
          Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
          Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid
          All that glitters is gold
          Only shooting stars break the mold
          Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
          Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show, on get paid
          And all that glitters is gold
          Only shooting stars
          Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas?
          I need to get myself away from this place
          I said, "Yup" what a concept
          I could use a little fuel myself
          And we could all use a little change
          Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming
          Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
          Didn't make sense not to live for fun
          Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
          So much to do, so much to see
          So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
          You'll never know if you don't go (go!)

when you realize that cup of "water" when you were 3 wasn't water-