n-niell

         ❪  SELECTIVE , SELECTIVE, SELECTIVE!
          	            DON'T ASK FOR A FOLLOWBACK OR
          	            FEEDBACK.  ❫

n-niell

──── oh, don't promote ur book too. thanks.
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nieyruu

@hafeas , 230 days of you waiting for me

leoraa-

what's up now? dah move on? or you're still a groomer that's waiting for me to grow up? 
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nieyruu

@lovyuii  Aku tak nak orang lain... Aku akan tunggu kau. Aku sanggup tunggu selama mana pun. Aku perlukan kau. Aku nak kau, Sora
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-kaiserr

this message may be offensive
come on. stop putting my other name on your location. it's disgusting, really. i fucking hate you. isn't it disgusting how you make me feel loved and happy before suddenly ghosting me? oh, you don't fucking know how i fucked up that time. how much i cry because of this shit, because of you.

nieyruu

I'm not living my best life right now. I'm suffering because of the mistakes I made. I realized that I don't deserve your forgiveness. I'm sorry that I destroyed your life. I'm sorry.
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-kaiserr

lancau kan perangai kau? thinking that you're living your best life right now makes me feel disgusted. c'mon, a pedophile like you can't live a happy life. you destroy my life. 
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-kaiserr

aku tak tahu. aku macam nak jerit kat dunia. bagitahu berapa sesaknya perasaan ni. betapa memuakkannya. tapi ada ke yang nak dengar? ada ke yang peduli?

-kaiserr

but the pedophile was once my best brother. my best listener, my best friend. my soul. 
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-kaiserr

merepek dekat pedophile. 
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-kaiserr

aku benci semua benda. aku benci yang aku tak dibenarkan pilih cita-cita sendiri. aku benci yang takde siapa dengar bila aku bercerita. aku benci yang takde siapa peduli tentang cerita aku. aku benci yang aku cuma– side character dalam hidup orang lain. aku benci yang diorang boleh hidup tanpa aku, tapi aku tak boleh. aku benci yang aku terlalu bodoh, aku benci yang aku takkan pernah jadi penting untuk sesiapa pun.
          

nieyruu

Aku minta maaf yang aku tak pernah ada untuk kau.
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-kaiserr

"apa guna jadi anak kalau tak cemerlang?"
            
            kan. aku pun terfikir benda yang sama gak. aku macam orang gila. study malam buta, nangis sebab math, sampai hidung berdarah, sampai aku rasa macam nak mati. tapi aku masih average. masih tak memuaskan hati
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-kaiserr

kadang-kadang, aku rasa macam nak mati. muak. aku muak dan serabut. aku rasa macam aku dah gila. kejar akademik macam sial, tapi markah tak naik. jadi bodoh semata-mata nak tengok kawan aku happy. macam bodoh. tapi aku masih jadi second choice. aku masih jadi beban dan side character.
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nieyruu

day 250.

nieyruu

a stranger that used to make a child "fall in love" with him. a stranger that used to manipulate a child, a stranger that used to play with a child's feelings. thank you for everything. but i just cant remember what we used to do two or three years ago. i just remember that you're just a creepy pedophile.
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nieyruu

im not lying when i say that i miss you. i dont miss the creepy and possessive you. i miss the old niel, the one that is always there when i need you. the one that always supports me, the one that always makes me laugh when i feel sad. but now in my memories, you're just a stranger.
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nieyruu

this message may be offensive
everything fucked up. im glad that i realized you're just a creepy groomer. but at the same time i feel sad. maybe because we used to be cringe and goofy together. and now we're not talking anymore, because of these stupid feelings. no, maybe it's because you're a creepy pedophile.
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