Hellu Frozen Mountain Peek , for a first story its not that bad . I do wonder what direction do you want this story to focus on . Will it be a found family?like where the mc whose been through war , lost so many people , missing his own family be able to find peace to those children despite being in this form .
I have a few notes and suggestions to take note upon but its up tah u if u want tah follow:
- You could highlight his reactions to things especially being a vertan soider like what reactions (does be like overreact when he hears a gun?cause you know he got killed by one) or skills does he have during his time as a soldier?
-Also mabye his kids played Minecraft once thats how he learned somethings ? Like he'll remember very vividly his kids crafting armour?
- the Kids he found what personality or story would you like them Do you want them to guillable or wary ? Like The kids easily trust him cuz he help once despite him being a monster and they'll continue on following them despite the mc not wanting them close cause they see them selves as a monster or were they wary of him cause they were recently abandoned but as time grows they learned to trust him .
- Oh him being with him being a frostmaw , Does he have powers? Is he still learning to use it? What do you think his reaction would be to it ? Would he be scared of himself that he might accidentally hurt others?
-You think steve and alex could do a cameo here where they hunt mc but two kids stopped them?
That's all I can say for now hehe but It's really up to you where ya want ur story tah go . Keep up the great work , Dearie!
