namewastak3n__

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About my sexuality/gender :
          	
          	Trans/demiboy
          	Bisexual
          	Polyamorous/polysexual
          	Pronouns he/they and name Leo 
          	Thx for the attention :)

namewastak3n__

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TW : vent (su1cidal thoughts)
          
          I just wanna disappear. What am I supposed to be, to say, how am I supposed to act ?
          I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to be the good child. But maybe if I make everyone hate me, then they wouldn't be hurt if I ended this ? Because they probably wouldn't care. I'm sure about that. 
          They all hate me, and because of what ? My acts, my reflexions, me. All of me is disgusting crap, there's nothing good inside of me. I'm just a body full of lies, insults, and hate. I make my friends feel bad because I keep telling them how much they're not worth anything. Because then when I die they won't care. 
          No one will. 
          I really wanted to cut myself to death today. But I lost my only blade left. So instead I write. I write and I hope it gets better. But it won't. I know my family is full of hate because of me. I broke everyone. My stepfather wouldn't be leaving if it wasn't for me, my sisters wouldn't hate me, I wouldn't throw hate on my brother, my mother wouldn't be stressed out by my grades and wouldn't be constantly fighting with my stepfather. 
          It's all my fault. I can hear them scream right now. They're fighting about money again. And if I wasn't there it wouldn't be such a problem, there would be more money, way less problems. 
          I hate everything and I mostly hate myself. Maybe I'll be gone by tomorrow, because I really want to kms right now. I'm sorry about all of this

namewastak3n__

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this message may be offensive 
Hi.
          
          I know no one follows me and no one cares but here we are
          
          TW : self-hurting
          
          I don't have a clue where I'm going right now. 
          I don't know why my first think when I'm upset is to cut these arms that are already completely full of cuts and scars.
          I can't wash without crying over my body, that disgusting shit I'm trapped in. And as a man, that hurts to see I cannot have a beard, I cannot remove what's growing on my chest, I cannot have male attributes. 
          I can't be naked for a second without panicking, rushing to get dressed again because, what if my little brother sees my arms ? What if anyone sees my arms ? Last time I took a shower someone entered the room and I could barely hide my body.
          Now everything is messed up. Half of me desperately wants to talk about these scars to my mother, and the other half wants to hide this forever, to keep on lying to everyone and to leave this planet.
          I'm not asking for help. I'm not asking for anything. But I needed to say something, scream my rage, cry on an imaginary shoulder.

ShaolinIV

@ lem0nad3__  Hey I'm here if you want to talk about this :( Maybe it's better to talk to your mother about these scars, of course it's not really easy.I hope everything will be alright ✌
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