eli

do people even like my muke fic lol

i unpublished some of my stories. they will come back i just can't have them because i don't want to disappoint you by not updating so i will write it all then update on some of them so they will be prepared.

this is gonna be a little bit of a story. okay um feeling deep as fuck. don't wanna be deep as fuck. but then again i do. okay i've been depressed since 3rd grade, hiding in a shell. becoming an  outcast and a quiet freak at a young age is hard of course. i was depressed secretly, i began pretending to be happy and people believed me. mum got a boyfriend and he was nice at first, as i grew older and depression wasn't just a phase. he started emotionally abusing me, and pushed me a great amounts of times. i cry a lot, sometimes i'm to weak to cry so i just dry heave. i lay in bed at night wondering... why am i here? does anyone care? is there happiness? one day i stumbled across five boys, named louis harry liam zayn and niall. they became my happiness my escape. i drifted from that sadly and began cutting, my mom found out because my friend told everyone at school because it was 'funny'. um i've always hated my body, my face, everything. i feel like i'm a good person but get treated like shit. i began feeling affection towards woman and it scared me honestly. i though my mom would hate me. i would hide and try and forget that  i liked them. i recently became comfortable with my body, and my sexuality. because of one direction. they are my happiness and i'm very thankful.

im such a sad thing but i dont wanna write a sad fic.

sometimes quiet is violent i find it hard to hide it my pride is no longer inside it's on my sleeve my skin will scream reminding me of who I killed inside my dream

its sad how much i can relate to twenty one pilots music. but they have really great music so you should listen.

im gonna listen to music and write a couple chapters for my muke fic. would you guys enjoy that :-/

FUCK THIS LEAVE ME ALONE FFS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1ii17x0Myo

okay fuck you, fuck you twice three four five sick million https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWIjpi4eyss leave me alone stop ow my soul bye

oh ha ha ha ha ha ha fml https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXGqPTW_1pA