♪

Happy 3 year anniversary to Burning Rose yay

Kindly spend your precious time with my book
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/292480361?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=MINI7_ME&wp_originator=vSXGiY%2F9NYn9PUDEf90gjqjoaymQ502%2BsXufaH2FuHanuE0WpzVcwpNG48PPaM%2F9u%2BBa5eAHaEFQm7R5hIIpCPvErmOhqx11UKfqe65gCPlOwWMCS59oAFNR4KnISQUB
          
          Please follow back ❤️

College is sucking the life out of me, no joke.

I've opened this app after so long today

wow... haven't written or read anything in so long. I can't feel my story anymore, damn. i feel like I'm slowly finishing. I'm almost finished.

30th December...wow...
          
          First and foremost, Happy Birthday to Taehyung!! Our boys are getting old, but they've reached so far. I'm proud of them!!
          
          But besides that, this day also means something else for me. This day marks exactly two years since I first published Burning Rose.
          
          Two whole years and only 13 chapters, I know it's a pathetic writing speed and I'm sorry T__T But no matter how busy I get, I never stop thinking about this story. It's always alive inside my mind, new ideas to incorporate into the plot always popping up inside my head. For me, it's not just a story. It's an entire universe, albeit imaginary, with every character, even the minor ones, even the invisible ones, having a detailed history, an actual life, even if it doesn't appear in the story. It's a universe I can escape into whenever the one I live in becomes too suffocating. It's a comfort zone I can be in with my characters, because these imaginary people are the only ones I can truly understand. I put parts of myself in my characters. For me, they're as detailed, authentic, flawed, ugly, twisted, beautiful, helpless, complicated, as real people. For me, they're my safe haven. And the two years I've spent with them, have been the most beautifully painful, yet the most painfully beautiful years of my life. Even if the point of time when i finally finish writing this story seems far off, this thing will never really be over for me. For me, it's eternal.
          
          (can't promise anything about the next update I'm sorry ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ But I've reached almost 4k words, it most probably will be done soon—no action this time tho so sorryyyy, it's all angst for now)

Sometimes some scenes from my planned stories just pour out of me. But I'm not able to write them because I've either not reached that part of the story yet, or haven't even started writing it.
          
          I've been thinking, what if I just pick a story I haven't started yet, and start writing and publishing whatever random scene of that story comes to me? And then complete it little by little. Like the way HYYH story notes came out. But they were definitely released in a very well thought and planned manner, albeit not chronologically. Mine wouldn't be chronological, but wouldn't be well planned or thought of either. I just need an outlet for all the wrongly timed creative juices running inside me.

Here's what happened last night. I had been watching Squid Game yesterday (yeah yeah. late bloomer, i know.) and one of the scenes reminded me of a scene I'd written myself in a past work that I didn't ever publish, because the plotline was very underdeveloped and immature, the kind that foetus writers here write. But nevertheless, I went back and read that scene last night, and I was shocked. I couldn't believe that I was the one who'd written it. It was so fluent, so well-written. I recalled how back when I wrote it, I used to be so passionate about writing. Whatever I wanted to paint into words, I never had to look for it. It came to me by itself, pouring out, without the use of any references or thesaurus. I might have been a bad author, but I was such an awesome narrator. Now it's the opposite - I'm a decent author, but a rigid, unsure narrator who uses a thesaurus for every next word. My plots might be better and more refined now, but I feel like my writer's voice has been corrupted.
          
          Anyways, I am thinking of publishing these scenes of those incomplete, immature past works as a compilation. Mainly for the purpose of inspiring the creation of new stories in the minds of whoever reads it, like a public domain work. Just a thought tho.

I one hundred percent do NOT like college. Going to a co-ed place after 14 years of an all-girls school totally SUCKS. Boys are so rowdy, I absolutely HATE THIS DAMMIT
          
          (The way I've started using this space as a diary sounds quite concerning HELP ME ಥ_ಥ)

Getting the best college has started to feel less and less like a big deal.