nat0009

days like this 
          	
          	I’ll just lay in bed at 2 in the morning on days like this because you’re sadly all that I ever think about
          	I haven’t figured out on how to get you off my mind
          	and it’s killing me
          	because I’m always thinking about you 
          	I’m always thinking how I should’ve been better for you
          	how I wasn’t enough for you
          	how my love wasn’t enough to make you stay
          	because now you’re with your new girl 
          	and she’s better than me 
          	she’s happier than me 
          	you can see it in her eyes
          	she doesn’t have sad eyes like me 
          	and I guess that’s why you love her more than you ever loved me 
          	because she’s happy
          	because she’s not a depressed fuck like I am
          	because you don’t have to be worried that she’ll kill herself and you won’t see her again
          	you don’t have to worry that she’ll slice her thighs open once again in the lonely night
          	you don’t need to worry that she won’t eat 
          	you don’t need to worry that she’ll starve herself 
          	and she probably doesn’t need reassurance like I do
          	she probably knows how beautiful she is without you even telling her
          	and so I’ll tell myself that I wasn’t good enough
          	but how was I not good enough when... when everyone else tells me otherwise 
          	when everyone else says that you were the one that was good enough for me 
          	but that’s not the way I see it 
          	however I don’t think that you know how much that truly fucked me up
          	i don’t think you want to know how badly you broke me 
          	because that would hurt you 
          	and babe I could not possibly live with myself knowing that I’ve hurt you
          	so I’ll keep my pain inside, put on a fake smile, and pretend that everything is fine
          	when in reality everything is shattering and it’s my doing. </3