mentally dying

maybe in another life i can be everyone i wanted to be. happy, a boy and pretty.. just maybe lol

i really wish i didn’t exist right now. 
          maybe another life would be better. 

i’ve been waking up later in the day as i’ve been staying up and feeling like shit due to things and my mum yelled at me for it today. now we’re not speaking and i really want to jump out the window and AHSUAHSH i hate my life. 

am i really that annoying? sorry. 

i’ll accept it if it makes you happy. 
          i’ll be fine, i hope. i just want you happy. 

i don’t know why i’m posting this here, maybe cus i’ll forget i have wattpad and forget i said this but,
          
          i want to move out. i want leave my family behind. i don’t want to be judged for anything i do. i want to be able to be free. i want to be happy. don’t get me wrong, i like my family and in real life friends but my mind is always telling me they like other people more then me and that hurts. i know i mean the world to them but i feel so shitty. i vent to them and i regret it because i’m pushing my problems onto someone else. i just want to bottle up my feelings and make others happy. i hate how it’s slowly telling me it’s the same for my online friends too. i really need to stop venting to them and suck it up. i’m an adult soon and i don’t need to worry people. sorry.