no problem, i just wanted to help if i could. so far as i can tell in the rewrite most flaws i've spotted have been fixed. and honestly i really love the concept and the way you execute your writing, it just blows me away with amazing-ness! i don't know what happened with my comment exactly, but some of my comments have been deleting themselves, so that's most likely what happened to it. can't wait to see what happens next!