needaplacetorant

I wrote a monologue 
          For the first time

I had a 'I need my boyfriend moment' (I don't have one) and the reason is quite hilarious, cause I wanted to tell him about the SEBI regulation,  about buyback, takeover,  delisting provision. how Asian i have to be?

He was just 31 and he left. It's weird how I miss being in 9 th grade, talking about them with my friends. I miss how me and a friend mine used to dream about meeting them, we had a dream together. We are not best friends anymore but I wanna check up on her. Did she heard the news, how is she coping up. It's crazy honestly. How his death bring me back to 9th grade
          
           I'm gonna miss him so much. We lost him. I lost him. I lost a dream. 
          How do I cope up with this? 

Hey! Its been a rollercoaster, life. I have so many things you are yet to listen, so many stories you are yet to hear, so many poems you are yet to read,  you many people you are yet to love, so many things you are yet to do. 
          
          I've missed you. Quite a lot, everyday. I never knew I had so much to give. 
          
          I'm actually grateful to you. 
          You made me realise what kind of a person I am, what kind of a person I want to be, for myself. 
          I curse you a lot when people consider my kindness as bin to trash their thoughts or as desire. Its frustrating but honestly it's kinda satisfying to know I'm someone people come to when life gets tough. I always wanted to be that for you but I can life gets tough. 
          
          
          

I miss sharing my poetry on wattpad
          Wattpad is always gonna be a home to me
          I dont think I'll be able to repay what it give to me
          Not only my poems 
          But also people 
          I keep so dear to me
          
          I started writing poems on wattpad 
          And I never looked back 
          I've written over 100 poems ( did I freak you out?)
          It's such a privileged to be here 
          When the whole world was active
          Even though, now everyone is busy 
          Making themselves out in the real world 
          I know 
          Everyone miss the 2019 era.
          
          I hope life is treating them well 
          I'm trying to be a good person 
          And moving forward as well
          I miss sharing my highs and lows 
          here.
          

dumbass 

I think about my stranger often, the only one I wanna hold onto when life gets tough. I hope life became a little gentle for you and when it does I hope you believe you are worthy of it.
          
          ( to write you a stranger is kinda weird but a good weird. You were always a stranger, just someone's words I remember almost everyday. It's kinda strange i wouldn't recognized you in a room full of people but I want to believe when you speak, I must hear you. Do you get chills to think, if we ever live nearby we wouldn't be able to recognized eachother if we never speak? Maybe that's beautiful? Sometimes I wanna believe it is but I still be grateful to have whatever we have.
          
           i did win, I really can't name whatever we had but I feel like I just lost something special. 
          
          I wish you the best. )

i wish for just once he asked me how i am doing and this time i'll the truth. i wont lie, i wont pretend, i'll be honest with him. i really wanna be.

I'm nobody! who are you?
          are you nobody too?
          then there's pair of us - don't tell!
          they'd banish us, you know.
          
          how dreary to be somebody!
          how public, like a frog
          to tell your name the livelong day
          to an admiring bog!

I feel miserable