𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒚

all i wanna do is to run away from ppl i know, to the place where i only can be alone. until i know how to love myself again.

just realized im losing 80% of my story line and edits at my previous handphone that went missing :(

all i want for this year is recovery. someone who understand. approaches. professional help. being in this situation is really tiring, even how many times i tried to heal myself it's just seems impossible. every moment. i gives myself a self motivation, i tried to improve my mindset, i tried to behave well then i should be. but, it's just seems, hard. they're out there, making my problem as a joke. sometimes i will feel ok. but sometimes, my mind is just worst as it could be. it's just horrible. i'm really messed up. never attempt to commit suicide, but i ever think to do suicide before. my mind is horrible. the inside me is really weak. my spirit, my mind, my energy. it's exhausting to feels this every time. 
          
          i swear i tried, but im really tired.

never forget that i've been through bad & dark surrounding in primary school and during my spm year. i can still remember the feeling. being abandoned. being bullied. being betrayed. being pulled away. by my own close friend. since than, my mental health were never stable. 

almost lost skills in writing and graphic

it's easy to fall in love. but it's not easy to stay in a relationship.
          
          admit it, in certain time u will feel your partner is starting to change. u will start to notice that he/she is a different person u knew in your first date. but maybe, it's not about changing. maybe they're just about to show their true colors. 
          
          it's about when u can take it or not.
          
          it will not getting easier in the phase of knowing someone. the more u know about them, the more it will ruin your expectation. it will never be easier. either u got this or u want to end this. 
          
          i hope u will found someone who truly destined for u. 

been thinking of a comeback.....
          nah im too lazy and lack of ideas :D

im looking like a piece of shit.

after almost 2 months, i'll come back home! <3

growing up warning:
          BEWARE OF FAKE FRIENDS.
          
          they wear angel mask, but truly you don't know what's inside.