it's currently past midnight and i just have a lot on my mind..
i suddenly have this feeling of loneliness. i just started feeling the feeling of wanting a specific other. a person who appreciates you and cares for you. it's kinda funny how this is the first time i've been feeling like this in my soon 18 years of life..
my previous best-friend, my now good friend, has something going on with my past crush. i know it is stupid of me to care about it, but he is so so good. both his looks and personality. i guess it is just kind of bugging me because she doesn't want to be that serious with a boy, and he is just so precious - but i still dont have any feelings for him? i just feel kind of lonely.
i saw this adorable couple on tiktok whom were actually so wholesome and i just want that, and they were so woke and i just need a boy like that. a boy who is woke, caring, kind, gentle, respects his parents, likes kids, want to cuddle without going further. i dont know, i still feel like i shouldn't rush it, that i will find someone when i start at university in two years. i honestly think that it just shocked me a bit that the two has something? between them.
whatever, good night and i will update soon!
school is also starting on monday and here i am at 1 am typing away... sleep schedule is great huh?