Well, what do you wanna know? I'm 13. I am NOT born in 1979, but the internet is too damn slow that it keeps glitching every time I want to change it.  I've been in a mental hospital in Redlands, I have two suicide notes, and I'm just...depressed.  I feel alone.  I want to die.  I've wanted to die since September of last year.  Even though everyone tells me "Oh Jaeden, I still love you" and "Oh Jaeden, I'll be there for you always"...I don't believe them.  I only believe two people: my cousin, and my girlfriend.  You see, everyone has their own problems.  I don't feel it's right that people should try to get invloved in other people's shit when they don't have their own under control.  Ever since my dad left in 2011, I've felt alone and depressed.  It doesn't help that school's a bitch in itself.  All the pressure, all the drama, all the bullshit...it's just not worth it. I feel like no one understands me.  And that's true.  All but the same two people! How unbelievable is that?  Yeah, I know that two people is better than none, but it still makes me feel alone, you know? That's how I feel every damn day.  And so that's why I have suicidal thoughts and feelings.  I've played with fire, experimented with knives, and right now I'm toying with the alcohol idea.  I'm not proud of what I'm doing, but I personally feel that it's the only way out of my depression, my sadness, my anger. It pisses me off that psychiatrists think that drugs and anti-deprescants are the only cure to sadness.  But it's not. I can name off like 1,000 different ways for someone to do to cure their depression without using any drugs...except for Advil.  But that's it! But psychiatrists don't actually take the time to think about any solutions but drugs, and they have done that for years.  But is it all worth the stress?  Stress from living, stress of life, stress of being stressed?  No...to me...it's not worth it...this is how I feel.  How I've always felt.  Honesty I don't think it'll get better.