nicotineswan
The Cursed Ones update announcement:
OKAY!! I first want to tell you all that I DO plan on coming back to my main Narcissa story. I'm not sure how many readers are still out there, since it's been so long since I put the story on hiatus, but if there are any of you out there, I do plan on finishing the story one day.
However, I'd like to make a few comments on the story itself. I started this story when I myself was a teenager, and posted it on here not too many years after I had first started writing it. As I've grown, so have my views on some things. I'm not sure how comfortable I am now with the age gap in the story, so if I continue, I'll either revise it or just... sort of try to ignore it in favor of completing what I started. Keep in mind I was young when I started this story, so I, of course, saw nothing wrong with a teenager being with a grown woman at the time. Do we ever truly grasp reality at that age? I don't know. But I certainly do now, and God, growing up really does change your perspective on things.
Second, I'm rather shocked at how much drug use I included in the story. I do not condone, nor do I wish to promote drug use. If I continue to write the story, I'll be cutting back on the substance abuse drastically. Again, I was young and... experimental when I first began this story.
TO BE CONTINUED IN THE COMMENTS!! (because I'm long-winded and can't keep a post within the character limit, apparently.)
nicotineswan
@nicotineswan And P.S., yes, I am aware my music taste was very strange back then. I loved weird music because it was just such an interesting sound. But I agree with the countless comments that pointed out that my taste at that point was not for the faint of heart.
nicotineswan
@nicotineswan (CONTINUATION PART 2) Finally, I'd like to disclose that the cult thing wasn't just something I pulled out of my ass. In real life, I grew up in a very strict and extreme religion. I modeled the one in the story after the one I personally grew up in. It does classify as a cult, but I am wary to use that word so flippantly. I wrote about a lot of my own religious trauma and my slow process through everything that came with it; relearning life, unlearning indoctrination, and dealing with the demons from childhood that lived rent-free in my head. Anyway, I will one day come back to that story to finish it. I'm not sure how I will go about it, and you may see the difference in my personality. As a now 25-year-old woman (going on 26), I'm a lot different than I used to be, but I'll try my best to channel my younger self so that I can allow the story to take the course it was meant to take. Thanks to all who have supported my story! I never, EVER expected anyone to read it, let alone actually enjoy it. I remember the shock I felt when it first blew up, and how the positive comments were the only thing that kept me from deleting the story in a panic. You guys truly mean more to me than you know. Mwah, much love.
nicotineswan
@nicotineswan (CONTINUATION) And third, a lot of my past trauma really leaked into the story. I'm a bit shocked at how much I put Narcissa through, but I do know that I had actually written this story as a way of processing my own trauma. It was originally never intended to be published or viewed by anyone but myself. At the time, I had gone through a lot, and I had wanted to write a story in which my comfort character, as well as my original character (Noir, isn't that what her name is?), triumphed over traumatic things. I had wanted to show myself that I could overcome anything. Through writing a way out of the bad things in story format, I was also finding a way out of my own personal mess. But back then, my views on the world, on people, and what might be considered 'normal' things to have to deal with were quite distorted, and the themes of objectification in the story directly reflect the things I had been dealing with in real life. So yes, the characters went through some very uncomfortable things in The Cursed Ones, and ughhh, it's just sad that that had once been my reality to the point even my story characters dealt with it. But I really got to take my revenge, living vicariously through my characters as they fought back against the awful people (cough, Darwin, you freak, I'm still glad I wrote about you getting punched so much). (To be continued yet again in replies......)
