nikisbigtoe

( TW VENT ) 
          
          i’ve been feeling drained, so i stay up late, sleep in. and my parents say i’m sleeping my life away but at least i’m using it. i’m so tired mentally. there’s no amount of sleep that can fix it, unless i didn’t wake up. i genuinely can’t see myself graduating high school. i’ll be dead by then and my dad has been so rude lately. when i try expressing myself by talking about my interests (kpop) he shuts me down. like saying “yk idc, why r u tellin me?” It's been 3 months!!! (july 30) (TW SH) but I wanna break it and slice my skin so badly. i want to grab a blade and drag it through my skin and watch the blood pour from it, i want to watch it drip down my skin and stain the floor. (OVER) (aside from this i made a kpop shelf!) i went shopping for new clothes and i still feel ugly, i can never look good enough. my parents tell me “oh, you look pretty” WHERE? i want to die so bad. NOT SO FUN FACT: if you take like 5 spoons of salt, u die. (TW SUICIDE) i’ve considered doing ts sm, js grab the salt from my kitchen pour myself a couple of spoons. everytime i eat out, i take salt packets, i have a collection of them. i could js decide, “i’m done” today could be it, if i really wanted. which honestly i do, but i’m holding on. (OVER) (TW ED) i hate eating sm. every time my stomach growls, i feel proud. when my parents aren’t home i don’t eat and lie abt it. and i js don’t seem to lose weight bc they make me eat when they’re around. and they constantly remind me “you should eat more” or “you should eat more regularly” my mom has threatened to take me to the hospital several times because i wouldn’t eat. (OVER) i hate everything and everyone. i feel so lonely even when i’m surrounded by people. i need to feel important or loved or some shit. i need a gf sb. but, i’m too chopped for that. and why would anyone even like me? i’m damaged, i’m too much, i’m selfish, i’m stubborn, i’m clingy and i get jealous of people's success because i know i could never.

Hi there! Wanna know a secret? (Shhh, just between us...)
          ❤️
          You are amazing, beautiful, and so incredibly loved. Don't focus on others-focus on yourself first and remember to love who you are!
          Spread this message to spread the love! *t
          - Started by @elite-author3182012

whats w that new reading list....???? WHY MY NAME BE IN IT???

ADD MOREEE DO SWEPT AWAYYYY

tysm for adding my story to ur reading list!!!!! ill try and write the 1st chapter soon!!!

yo did u ever finish reading the reality Shift one?