niyaahhhhh45c

New chapter out!!!!! Please go read I think y'all will love this one it's cute but short sorry but will most more Tuesdays.

masiewrites

Hey girl!!!! I’ve just read some of your story, and I can already tell it’s got so much potential! Thank you for trusting me enough to ask for feedback, I’m really excited to share it to you and hopefully improve your story further.
          
          - First of all, I really like the plot and the overall vibe of your story. Your main character is funny, relatable, and easy to like, which is amazing. 
          
          - One thing I’d work on is expanding your action and character beats (the little descriptions around dialogue). A lot of the dialogue goes by really quickly, so try slowing the scene down a bit. 
          
          For example, instead of:
          She sighs. “Where’s the party?” she asks.
          
          you could write something like:
          She lets out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose before looking back at me. “Where’s the party?” she asks.
          
          Little details like that help readers picture the scene and connect with the characters, helping them understand what’s happening, and why it’s happening, on a deeper level. 
          
          - I’d also focus on punctuation and grammar. Things like making sure every piece of dialogue has the right punctuation make a huge difference. It makes your writing much smoother and easier to read. Sometimes it can get a little confusing if commas are missing or periods need to be added! 
          
          Honestly though I really enjoyed what I read so far! I think with a bit more depth and better use of punctuation will really make your story improve. Keep writing, theres so much potential here!! ❤️❤️
          
          -masiewrites

masiewrites

Ofcc girl xx
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niyaahhhhh45c

@masiewrites  OMG thank you so much I will take everything you said a put it in my story, thank you so much for the feedback
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