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Guys yk when everything is actually going so fucking wrong like I'm gonna crash out every single thing. Okay so my parents have had it in me since I was a child that weekends will always always be family time we'd always be off in the car somewhere but now my dad's work responsibilities have increased and my mums started working so we haven't had a proper weekend out in years this weekend they're both off . This was gonna be the first fucking weekend and I was so so so excited. These past weeks I've litch had nothing going for me only fucking uni so now that this is happening i just wanna die . Okay so our plans were baso on Saturday morning I have to go somewhere plus my brother has some college open days so I was gonna go to my place and everyone else was gonna go there then ibe booked the cinema for me and my sister's to watch a movie my baby sisters obsessed with and then after that it's bonfire night so we were gonna do our yearly ritual of getting hot chocolate and watching the fireworks in the cold dark bleak Saturday night. Exactly the way I be looking forward to it every damn year. But fucking now my fuck ass uncles invited himself to stay, mind u my mum's been telling him every day u should have bought ur kids to stay over today today but he's fucking picked Saturday. So my mum said oh by the way we're busy all day Saturday but u can come w us to the fireworks like no that's our fucking thing. And my other ubcles probably gonna fucking glue himself on like no I don't fucking want him I hate him. And now like I feel like such a baby but their kids r so fucking annoying they have a 7 yr old a 3 yr old and then a newborn and the elder two r so fucking naughty u have to be having both eyes on them all the time and I just can't it's not their day can't we have anything. Even today they came round and we went town and whatever we'd do they'd just throw tantrums and throw themselves on the floor like get up what the fuck is wrong with you.

Guys loads of stuff happened today and I just feel like im a sad little tween who isn't understood by anyone. alright so first of all I had something really important on at uni today and i told myself I have to go in because it's just important yk. But I woke up , at my alarm at 5 and I was checking socials etc and the first thing I saw was a post someone made of a newspaper article which was Abt my friend who died a couple years ago. In the mornings it gakes me a long time to wake up and kinda realize whats going on around me but after that I just didn't want to do anything. I knew the anniversary of it will affect me, more deeply this year then ever so I allowed myself time to grieve and remember him in my own way whilst also still going uni and places just to not let that consume me. And then on top of that, okay a tad more context but ive made 'freinds' w a group of ppl at uni and they're genuinely the most rudest ppl I've ever met. And there's 5 of us and three of them were talking on the gc the morning and they were asking the other one where r u and she said how she's got some family emergency so everyone's sending their condolences whatever and, ik this sounds so so stupid and petty and emotional but i genuinely feel more friendless every day, and for me to actively not be in any classes today surely my name would have crept up in a conversation. That and there's one and I think she genuinely hates me and I haven't done anything istg. Firstly she can't spell my name, whenever she has to spell it she always spells it wrong and she doesn't even care even after ive corrected her, abd a name is a part of everyone's identity and if ur gonna mess mine up I'll let u know yk. That and she can't say my name which really isn't hard to say.

It's the end of september isn't that crazy. Lifes been very very busy recently because woop woop ive started uniiiii. That's why I've been wanting to do an update for ages but just can't find the time. I've been taking the train in so my whole commute is like right about two hours ish. There's still a load of people there from my city but far enough that it isn't the majority yk. Plus I went in literally not knowing anyone so I was really nervous but on the second day I met 4 ppl got their snaps and it's been history yk. Okay wait it's big brother opening night and theres a trans guy and hes so amazingly funny I love. Anyways yeah so uni it's been an experience fs. The commute is amazing I love it I like my little train seat looking out into the country side. Id never ever used the train before I would have probably only gone on a train like when I was a baby so it's been a whirlwind fs. But unis all about learning so that's great. Wait on big brother there's an 18 year old who just went in that's my age im scared. Anyways soooo with the content at uni I love love we've got a load of different stuff on at one time so there's kinda sociology on rn which is a tad boring but we move we move.