no_dad_syndrome

i am officially declaring myself as unlovable

Nyxthebean

We are true friends 
          
          We ride together , we die together 
          
          Send this everybody you care about , including me , if you care .
          
          See how many times you get this. 
          
          I want you to know you are an amazing friend, till death and forever .
          
          If I don't get this back I understand. 
          
          Nobody knows how important something is , until they lose it .

no_dad_syndrome

@Nyxthebean that last lines hits like a train
• Reply

Nyxthebean

.... were you not following me before?????

Nyxthebean

it's fine dude! no need to worry or dwell on it:)
• Reply

no_dad_syndrome

@Nyxthebean im sorryy
• Reply

Nyxthebean

@no_dad_syndrome  lol, it's all cool, you prob forgot or something, it's fine :) :p
• Reply

no_dad_syndrome

this message may be offensive 
I've been through some shit. Been through shit even my closest friends know nothing about. There's shit that abdolutely nobody knows because thanks to some certain people in particular I have MAJOR trust issues, and I know others do but along with the trust problems my guard is almost never down. If I meet someone who is really nice my first thought is 'no no go away I don't wanna be broken again' BUT I'm working on it, slowly. Like I want people to stay but my head will say shit like 'oh they dont want you'. 
          
          So if I push you away, just stay.. please.

Nyxthebean

@no_dad_syndrome it's no problem <3
• Reply

no_dad_syndrome

@Nyxthebean thankyou x
• Reply

Nyxthebean

@no_dad_syndrome i'm sorry, if you ever need me im here
• Reply

no_dad_syndrome

i genuienly dont know what people want from me anymore. 
          
          i do my best? apparently not good enough
          i do nothing? im lazy
          i try help out? i just get in the way
          
          wonder how long itll take people to notice if i just disappear one day

Nyxthebean

@no_dad_syndrome oh, felt.
• Reply

no_dad_syndrome

@Nyxthebean like somethimes i think abt deleting everything, going on a walk and just never coming back
• Reply

Nyxthebean

@no_dad_syndrome i would wonder but i feel that i spend SO much time one Wattpad that my bestie would ask me if im ok  and my mom would know if  it was a weekday cuz normally they "wake me up"
• Reply