So, Cinder got a backstory. A very, very underwhelming and pretty ineffective backstory. So I’m gonna do a little comparison to another character and how to make the backstory better, with all of my very little critic self. Now, Cinder has a list for power, so I’m gonna compare her to another person with a lust for more power.
Vergil from DmC
You see, if a character has a lust for power, they’ll have a motivation. Both of them are stated to have a motivation to get more power, not wanting to feel weak. Makes sense, but Cinder’s backstory doesn’t reinforce this. Let’s start with her.
She has a copy paste story with Cinderella (which I have gripes with, even if she’s based off of her) up until the ball. You see, she shouldn’t feel the need for more power, she had all of it she needed, she killed her oppressors and even a trained huntsman. Also, the Faunus went through the same thing, and they had it worse (take Adam, literally being branded in the face.) But that’s never addressed. And they had the White Fang, but they kinda worked because they had an end goal, take over the humans. Also, Cinder using others like slaves and sending them off to die would contradict her backstory.
Now, Vergil.
His home was invaded by demons and his mom was killed. Yeah. The thing is, she saved his twin Dante, and on the way to save him, was killed. This made him
A. Feel a lack of power because he couldn’t stop it.
B. Feel a lack of power because he thought his mom abandoned because he wasn’t worth it.
You see, Cinder’s story should’ve been a single ark. Oppressed to being more powerful than oppressers, there, she doesn’t need more power. But that doesn’t happen. She was in the metaphorical rags, and now she has the metaphorical riches. Ark done.
Vergil couldn’t do anything, he was a kid and the event happened to quickly for him to do anything in gaining power. He continues on getting more power because he can’t stop what happened, meaning he can’t finish that ark.