Hi, I just wanted to clarify a point with you, and I hope I’m not offending you in any way. If I am, please pardon me.
Why are girls expected to accept everything a man does—his girlfriends, past relationships, and even physical intimacy—yet when it comes to marriage, there is suddenly an expectation for a ‘clean’ and ‘pure’ woman as a wife? If men are allowed to fall in love and have relationships, then why seek physical intimacy before marriage instead of waiting until they are married?
If men can be possessive about what they consider ‘theirs,’ why isn’t a woman or wife allowed to feel the same way? Why are her boundaries questioned while his actions are excused?
It may seem like a small thing for a man to say, “After marriage, there was no one else,” but is it really a small thing for a wife or a bride to accept? Not every woman can accept her husband’s past as something ‘okay’ or insignificant. What if a wife is deeply hurt after finding out later—because it was hidden or never clearly discussed before marriage?
Why do grooms or their families demand a pure, clean, sanskaari girl—with no past relationships or intimacy—to be a wife or bahu, when they do not hold their own son to the same standards they expect from a daughter-in-law? Wouldn’t it be better and more honest to be transparent before marriage and allow the future bride to decide for herself—especially when the same expectations are placed on her?
In such cases, doesn’t hiding or not informing the bride about a man’s past affairs or relationships—where he shared himself with other women—count as cheating or betraying the future wife? Women, just like men, wish to be their partner’s first in every sense. Once a woman is emotionally or legally bound in a relationship, it often turns into forced acceptance, leaving her with no real choice—which is completely unfair and unjust. Yet later, it is dismissed as ‘not a big deal,’ ‘acceptable,’ or ‘no sin and no shame.’ Isn’t this where the real hypocrisy lies?
