raisin bitch

The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

REALLY. REALLY. REALLY IMPORTANT. 
          
          i havent been on wattpad for a very long time. i haven’t grown out of fanfiction writing, i’ve just moved to ao3 and to a different fandom entirely. even so, it’s always made my heart warm to see you guys post messages and vote on my chapters, because i really, really poured my heart into them two years ago, writing them. thank you. this isn’t about fanfiction, though. 
          
          as you’re probably aware, on the 24th of february, russia invaded ukraine. civilians have died. whether we like it or not, it’s war. a real, live war. i’ve decided that, although i cherish what i’ve written until now, my two rusame fics, i will unpublish them. it is incredibly inappropriate to write stories about them in this situation, and it makes me uncomfortable to keep them up. i’m sorry.  
          
          countryhumans was an…interesting phase of mine, but the war going on right now makes relationships between characters much too twisted for me to handle. if you have a ch book, i encourage you to unpublish it, just out of respect. 
          
          i hope for the best for all ukrainians, and all russians opposed to war. stay strong. if world war 3 comes, which is a frightening but realistic possibility, i wish for the best for everybody in this world. 
          
          excuse the cheesiness. i’m not used to writing messages about actual wars…

hello motherfuckers

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Been dead still am 

this time i swear it’s actually important! (tldr at the end)
          
          so this is about myself and about my books and about the countryhumans fandom. i know. sounds serious and worrying. 
          
          lately i haven’t had motivation to write, and i think it’s because my standards are extremely high for how little experience i have  i keep rereading older chapters of my book and thinking, “i shouldn’t have said this” or “the book would’ve been better if i didn’t push it off track with this”. i feel like i used to romanticise depression, and although i never meant to, it just feels like the book is more focused on america’s and russia’s personal problems than on them as a couple. 
          
          besides, i’ve also been getting... less and less into the fandom i guess? it’s not that i don’t like it anymore, i still WILL read ff and scream at cute pictures of them and come up with a thousand story ideas, but i won’t finish them because i can’t. 
          
          i won’t discontinue “between love and hate” (at least i don’t think i will). i won’t rush it, i won’t make a short chapter that finishes the plot completely. but although i have a bunch of (surprisingly good) AU ideas, i think i’ll take a long break after this, and maybe move to another acc. 
          
          i’m tired, physically and mentally. 
          
          tldr i’ll continue BLaH but i’m exhausted and kinda wish i hadn’t even started writing ff

Important 
          
          Yesterday I started watching banana fish on a shady website and NOW I CANT FIND IT? 
          
          WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO 
          I REALLY LIKED THE FIRST EPISODE AND I SWAR IVE BEEN ON ALL THE WEBSITES AND THEYRE ALL LIKE “do you wanna know how to make your b00bs grow faster” NO I DO NOT 
          I WANNA WATCH BANANA FISH FFS 
          
          does anyone know where I can find it?

I wanna make a soft/sad kaneki and Haise edit but I can’t find good Haise footage OR soft kaneki footage. GIVE THIS GUY A BREAK FROM ALL THE BADASSERY I WANNA REMEMBER WHAT HE WAS LIKE BEFORE AOGIRI

This is random but because I feel like sHit and I have writer’s block, I’m gonna promote some books that I read when I first entered the fandom. 
          
          “Pale” by HickleandSammer was the first CH book I’ve ever read, back when I thought I wouldn’t get sucked into rusame 
          
          “They’ll never know” by (I don’t remember their user sorry) was the first RusAme I’ve ever read, it was like 60 chapters and I read them all in two nights or something like that. Go read it too. 
          
          “Captive” by CandyZONE was the first Gerpol I’ve ever read, very god but sadly discontinued, just like the second GerPol I’ve ever read, “In the enemy’s eyes”, written by the one who wrote “They’ll never know.”
          
          When I realised CandyZONE had more books I binge-read them all basically, and fell in love with “Intoxicated” which was the inspo for my “instinct” book. “Too Cold To Be With You” was also amazing but I didn’t understand it until I read it the second time.
          
          “Sad & Happy” by venturesomescout was also like a reading milestone to me, I’m not sure why, but it brings back the nostalgia of my first months in the fandom. 
          
          Back then I was like 50% into CH, and the book that completely pulled me in was ofc “Prove Me Wrong” which I talk about too much. 
          
          Oh and I discovered I loved superpowers AU with “Ruthless” by StoopyOOF, which is also so goddamn amazing AAAAA
          okay so anyways...
          
          That was it. I needed some of that sweet nostalgia so I posted this. Keep in mind I have other books I’ve read but they’re newer so the feeling of ‘holy shit I’ve been here for so long’ doesn’t apply as much.

Henlo.