not_choc_milk

I MUST POSTED ANOTHER SHORT CHAPTER OF SPBM
          	
          	it would mean a lot if you checked it out

not_choc_milk

I hope you guys like my new book! It's just a wip of all the assignments I do at school that I don't want to go to waste. The first chapter (the one I just put up) is an RE assignment due tomorrow that was really rushed...it's also funny cos I'm not religious and it sounds so god-fearing. ANYWAYs just wanted to tell ya!

not_choc_milk

Hey guyyyyyys
          
          I don't know if it's just my lack of presence on Wattpad but I never seen to get your messages u less I open the actual app :/// so I am really sorry if you've contacted me in the past weeks/months and I haven't replied. Sorry

not_choc_milk

PART 2:
          
          I know I'm probably overreacting, but this is just one example of when I've actually been excited for a group assignment, then something changes, someone gets their way and I'm pushed back to the bottom. 
          
          Hey, who knows? Maybe that's where I belong. 
          
          I feel like I have to "man up", take responsibility and do the right thing, ie. do the thing that (obviously) nobody else was gonna do, but it just ends up making me sad, whilst the others around me are oblivious to my predicament. And I don't feel like I can complain to them because I signed myself up to it. 
          
          But I can't bear to see other people unhappy/miserable. It makes me sad and therefore doesn't solve anything. So I choose not to say anything. Which means the next time I feel like breaking down, there's just that much more of a chance that I actually will. And it sucks. Truly. Because I want to feel like I can confide in people, but I can't deal with them knowing my weaknesses, because maybe one day they will stab me in the back with my weaknesses
          
          Sorry for the rant. I was just feeling really ☹️ today and bottling it up wouldn't solve much, so I decided to write it all down. Once again, I know I probably went off topic multiple times and left you stranded with the words, but it's just what's been in my head and I couldn't get of it. 
          If you've stuck around until the end, thank you. I really appreciate that you've taken time out of your day to read my useless post, but it just makes me feel just that little bit better that there are people I can confide in, in my life. So thank you. I really mean it.

not_choc_milk

this message may be offensive 
PART 1:
          It's bullshit. Complete bullshit. 
          
          I know debating doesn't reflect what you really feel, but still, it helps if you actually like the subject you are fighting for. In this case, I am fighting that magazines should not ban photo editing. 
          
          Now, I know, I KNOW that this is just a school topic for debating and it'll all be over in two or three weeks, but it still hits me that I'll be fighting to teach women and girls that they need to edit their faces in order to look beautiful. 
          
          I KNOW personally how it feels to not feel pretty, like you should have something on your face, or to have your picture edited. I know personally how it feels to not like your appearance. And the fact that I'm fighting to tell people that THIS is what we should be doing does not sit right with me
          
          It doesn't help either that I was changed from affirmative to negative. I was so happy that for once I wasn't gonna have a shitty topic, and for once I thought I was gonna have fun in a group task. BUT NO. I can no longer fight for the thing I am so passionate about. I have to speak against it. 
          That...that makes me want to cry. 
          
          That I'm going to be encouraging other people that changing the way they look just because someone has "flawless" skin or a skinny waist, and they want to look like them. THATS NOT RIGHT. 
          I want to encourage people that the skin they are born in is beautiful just the way it is. I want to tell people that they look amazing without being painted with makeup or being photoshopped. We don't need to change the skin we were given. We don't have to give in to the media. We don't have to, and yet so many of us do.
          I know that some of you feel empowered by putting some powder or lipstick on and that is an amazing thing, but those that just put it on because someone else is telling them to, or they're being pressured into thinking they're not pretty enough to go without it is just not okay/right.