"At two in the morning I realized we wouldn't make it. I realized we were scared because it was a first, I realized that what we had was real, but never meant to last. What we had would keep me up forever. Remembering first kisses, remembering falling asleep with you. The sad part is that that harsh words would keep me up the longest. The disappointment you felt in the monster the world made me, how when I was sad I always felt like I had to be happy, because we fought otherwise. If I got drunk you never saw the reason, if I got scared you never realized it, never accepted it. I could never have blamed you. I had felt the same way when you did it, and although I still love you with every bit of me, I want to fall in love. I want to forget alcohol soaked nights with your words ringing in my head and all the times I felt so alone. I want to fall in love with someone that will hug me when I back down, will realize why I do what I do, someone who will make all the scars fade into the dust. Someone like who you used to be. You aren't who you were, and neither am I. But we changed in different circumstances, I was scared and you were lost not wanting direction. I want to fall in love again, and oh god I hope you love me enough to let me fall in love with you again." ~ 2AM drunk "I miss you" 's
