notnootfound

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you know that school is fucked up when you start think if dying would be better (someone save me ⟟ hate finals)

notnootfound

for my fellow readers and friends after hearing the news about technoblade ⟟ spent some time think about it and ⟟ decided ⟟ will continue my fanfic about him it might be hard for us but ⟟ think he would want us to keep on smiling as you can see by his merch he made. but after the fanfic ⟟ dont think ⟟ could bring myself to Wright another one about him. take all the time you need <3 - love the depressed enby

notnootfound

just went to ⏃ school dance it was the best time of my life :D

Addie_Sad

@notnootfound ah, i see- lol, that must've been pretty fun! 
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notnootfound

@Addie_Sad ⟟ went with my best friend 
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Addie_Sad

@notnootfound did you have a date~?
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notnootfound

How did ⟟ never know that you can be nonbinary and use pronouns like she/they or he/they or any other ones. Since ⟟ found out ⟟ was bi ⟟ was like maybe I'm nonbinary but then I'm like but I'm woman. But you can be ⏃ nonbinary and still say your ⏃ women!?
          
          

Addie_Sad

@notnootfound damn- it was worth it atleast
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notnootfound

@Addie_Sad yes ⟟ spent like the whole morning looking up information 
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Addie_Sad

@notnootfound wait actually-? I never knew that too! Lol, where have i been living-
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notnootfound

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(Part one one)
          
          Hi I'm going to rent to you guys
          
          Before ⟟ start ⟟ wanted to say could you guys call me indigo it not my real name but it help me disconnect from my rell life.
          
          Ok so today was going good but then my brother got mad for ⏃ stupid reason and that caused him to get mad at me so he pulled my hair and dragged me so then ⟟ fell on hard concrete my perents just laugh ⟟ WAS CRYING BITCHS DIDN'T CARE. and ⟟ told them that ⟟ wasn't ok that my brother did that and that he was going to be ⏃ terrible person ⟟f he keeps acting like that. But they were just like hE's JuST tEn. After that ⟟ drop some thing and ⟟ start to clean it up but ⟟ felt overwhelmed so ⟟ started tearing up and my dad said oH YoU knOw CryINg WonT DO ANyThIng so i decided to talk back and say ⟟ know but ⟟ can't stop it. 
          
          Sometimes ⟟ feel like my father doesn't care about me witch makes me sad because he's the one perents that ⟟ care about their opinion on me because my mother ⟟ ⏃ homophobic bitch.
          
          ⟟ decided to take ⏃ shower in the shower ⟟ was just cry and though of cutting but ⟟  decided not to be it hot at Arizona and for some reason my mother can notice ever scar on my body. Oh and my body dysmorphia decided it was ⏃ got time to get wore so after ⟟ got out ⟟ look in the mirror ⟟ felt ugly and fat but ⟟ couldn't just look away because my bathroom has ⏃ mirror that goes across the whole room so ⟟ had to stare at my discousting body.
          
          Oh and resently my mother has started to get mad at me when ⟟ say i want to kill my self because I'm not thinking about what other people would feel if ⟟ killed my self I'm just like bitch do you think ⟟ care if you homophobic ass would be sad if ⟟ kill myself. And my brother get mad at me when ⟟ say that ranboo and my friends are the only thing keeping me alive like sorry that those two thing are my only source of happiness.

notnootfound

@Addie_Sad thank you so much this just made my day ♡
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Addie_Sad

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@notnootfound oh wow.. I'd say you're parents are bitches honestly. If they cared, they wouldn've laughed. And i can relate. I have a bro whose ten, and he swears alot and says mean things to me. Not that i care. 
            
            And crying isnt stupid. You cant stop urself from crying, it's natural for us, especially when we just want to die. 
            
            Your parents care, they just dont show it. Or they care just a bit. Which is stupid and straight up fucked up. Life gets hard at some point. And ur parents not being supporting and caring doesnt help a single bit. 
            
            And your not fat or ugly, no matter what you think. You just haven't realized the beauty in you. And no one is perfect, and no one will be. But the one thing everyone can be is themselves. And everyone is pretty/handsom/hot/sexy/cute/adorable, i dunno. We all are pretty. Inside and out. And you are too. Your body isnt disgusting at all. You cant blame yourself for being like this. You can only accept it, and learn to love it. 
            
            Sorry to say this, but wanting to kill urself aint selfish. I mean sure, people will care [well obviously], but it aint selfish. Sometimes you just want to give up. Cant blame you if you're life is just shit right now. Your mom should keep her homophobic mouth shut and just think. 
            
            And same here. Ranboo, the other streamers, and my friends are the source of my happiness. And your brother (he's the one whose ten, right?) cant get mad for whatever your source of happiness is. 
            
            And its all okay. Im glad ur opening up. Remember that ur friends and I too care about you. You're an amazing person at heart, and you're pretty both inside and out. People who says otherwise are just too blind. I hope your life gets easier. Life may feel like shit, but it'll get easier. You have more to discover. 
            
            Take care of yourself, and get some sleep or something to eat or drink. Even if its a bit, it'll help. 
            
            Love you!! And others do too!! :)) <3
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