Victoria Reignae

Hi babe. I'm your new Big fan 

And by the way, my younger brother wanted to apply for a scholarship but he kept on messing every chance up. So this time, i decided to apply for one with him, taking him through every step carefully. Like i literally applied for the scholarship just so i could show him how to do what and when. I didnt really put in any effort. Just uploaded some documents, wrote some stuff they said they needed. 
          
          It was all kinda for fun. I was not supposed to get through. But i did. And my brother did too. 
          
          So now i have to take an exam at an earlier time before my brother so that i can cheat the exam for him. That sounds as terrible as it should. And i am still going to do it.
          
          I feel kinda guilty because someone out there really needed this slot. But i also want my brother to get the scholarship. He really wants it and that exam is crazy. 
          
          I cant go on the scholarship group and apologise because i have seen posts of so many other candidates saying they are so sad they were not selected for the second stage and i was. They will kill me. 
          
          I am still going to take the exam. Again, i am going to pass it. But i cant take the scholarship because i am already a PhD scholarship candidate in another country. 
          I guess that makes me a terrible person. 
          

I have been looking at the summary i made for this book again. It looked like it was going according to the plan up until a certain point when I kinda got off track. I think it was when i decided Jimin should run instead of staying till the next morning. And because of that, i think i may not need the forced marriage. I never liked the idea anyway so i am not sad that i strayed away from it. I have taken a whole different angle which you all will see soon. But it will produce the same results. Wish me luck. Its never a good idea to abandon the original plot. 

Thank you for today's amazing chapter ❤️

So i decided to do a back story for the "On the "Wrong Side of I Do" because i felt like if i decided to throw it in the story as flashbacks, i would hate it so much. I hate stories that deviate from the current story to a flashback every two lines. Its annoying. It would also make the story uncessarily long. 
          
          So i did four chapters of all the main drama that i wanted the readers to know before i dive into Jikook. I could have done a prologue. But does anyone want to read 20 pages of a prologue? I dont. But if its the main story, i am reading 1 million pages of it. So...
          
          The story is also a type that i hate whenever i see it written somewhere. It involves abuse to very controlled extent because i cant do gross. Someone will ask why not? Any form writing of is art. True. But being writer also means having weird ideas running through your head almost all the time. Its some type of imaginery friends crazy. You have strange people living a whole life inside your head and they wont leave until an ending of some sort. They are having conversations you can hear. They have names, kids, apartments they die, live and you can feel their emotions. I cry when my characters cry. Because  as i am writing them down, i experience what they do.  Also because I work in law enforcement.
          
          The book is about an arranged marriage between Jimin and Jungkook. I am also not a fan of arranged marriages. I had to do some research and all i found was that i just hate it. So i am working with nothing. If in the process, i undermine an actual experience, i am deeply sorry. I wanted to stick to facts  but I couldnt find any good facts or any liveable experiences. Most of them were really terrible and the victims were minors.  Maybe i looked in the wrong places. Or maybe i didnt look hard enough. 
          
          So...an arranged marriage from scratch?

I had told myself i would take a break from writing after i finished The Ace and The Amber. I did finish the final unedited draft and its all published. I will edit it as time goes on. 
          
          The thing is, yesterday night, I was trying to relax. And my brain decided right there and then that it could make me a little story to keep me company. In the middle of the night, i found myself crying over the injustice one character was going through. I cried so much my eyes are swollen right now. And because i didnt sleep at all.
          
          I know my head just wont stop unless i write it down. So here we are with another story.
          
          "THE WRONG SIDE OF I DO." 
          
          Funny how taking a break worked out.
          See you soon, i guess.
          
          Victoria

I ended up feeling like there was another Emily plot gap i needed to fill. I actually had to choose who i would enjoy writing  more, between Emily and Changwook. So I am trying both of them out. Unfortunately, that kinda stretches my original plan a couple of pages. So I have to write and extra chapter or two before the ending. I also recently remembered a subplot I had wanted to write, between Taehyung and Seojoon. But I dont know if I will have the soul and heart to write it since i dont ship Taehyung at all. Love him, but i dont find him attractive like that. I am scared i  may lose interest after I finish writing Jikook and Suga.  But I am hoping I write it because I had a little perfect two pages or one plan for them. 

This book is coming to an end. I intended to end it tonight with the new chapter i just published. But as I wrote it, I realized I couldn't fit all the loose ends I wanted to tie in it. So I  have like one or two chapters to write depending on the need.
          
          My dilemma now leans on what kind of ending I want to keep. When beginning the book, I was sure it was going to be a very happy ending. I love happy endings. It seemed like the only option. But now I am not so sure anymore. 
          
          I wrote the next chapter tonight. And I absolutely pulled the rug from beneath Jimin and Jungkook’s feet. No matter how i look at ut, it seems like the most perfect ending. My fingers have been itching to post it and be damned. But I am letting myself sleep over it and see how I feel about a sad ending tomorrow. 
          
          I may have to re plot, or not. 
          
          Don't mind these little notes I put here. Most of the times, I am just trying the words out of my head.

So tonight I wanted to post the next chapter. I set the mood and began writing. But you see, Jimin has been going through that Song Daeun thing and even though i dont want to hate her, I cant help but feel angry at her methods. 
          
          So I told myself that I would temporarily change Yoongi (our villain's) name to Song Daeun to help me write with a more vivid picture in my head. 
          
          It didn’t work. I spiralled off to the wild. It was after I was almost at the end of the chapter that I realized I was killing her. I was driving her to commit suicide. I had her jump off the balcony and it was only she was mid air, with the memories of her past life flashing before her eyes that I realized what I was doing. 
          
          I was killing Yoongi. I dont want to kill him. I love Yoongi. I cant kill him even for purposes of a book. I dont want to necessarily redeem him but I dont want him dead either.
          
          So now I'm sitting here at desk thinking how close I was to the darkness. I keep reading through everything I wrote I think I couldn't possibly have hated this girl to this extent. 
          
          I always felt concerned about writers who played with dark themes like death, rape, etc because I know how close to reality a writer can be with their story. You feel every emotion your characters feel. Every single pain. So I always shunned away from writing  such topics vividly. 
          
          Until tonight. I almost purposely murdered someone. So I think it's time to stop and reset. 
          
          A completely new chapter will come out tomorrow. It maybe kinda lukewarm because my hot and primary idea has been wasted on my petty revenge. I apologise to everybody that is waiting for the chapter. 

I am thinking of changing the name of Jimin’s ex in the Ace and the Amber from Yoongi  to Song Da Eun. It just makes perfect sense right now