A S H

“palmtrees, pretty poems & pancakes” was very scenic. Painted a picture very nicely, and the hypothetical at the end was also done well.

@novelistASH Huh, that's surprising.

@novelistASH I really think there are some very talented people on this site, I’ve just found it hard to come across lately. Your posts have definitely helped, however.
            
            To answer your other question, I have a new project I’m almost finished with. I’m trying to make more art that doesn’t feel like it entirely centers on sadness and kinda experiment with different themes (even if I’ll probably still have a few sad works every now and then). I also want to get more creative with metaphors, it’s fun for me and even if it can be challenging to understand, but I think it can be an interesting puzzle to solve for viewers too.

@troyzw I thought so too! I'm really glad you took the time to read fmradiopdf's work. I think there's some really interesting work on this website that people are sleeping on.
            
            What are your plans for your work in the near future? Is there any skill or genre you're planning to focus on?

Both of these are great. lobsters in the bathtub is very well written and creative.

@novelistASH You're welcome!
            Thank you ever so for all of this food for thought, I will for sure apply it to my art. I do appreciate your craft, it's sublime, and I am grateful you enjoy mine as well. My poems are my life, because their pieces of my past self, my present and things I have witnessed.
            I will for sure keep reading your poems, and try finding a sound to my poems.

@ricardolopes_25 I appreciate that Ricardo. I used to spend about an hour analyzing a piece and conveying that information to the writer, but my critiques weren't welcome and it took a lot out of my creative drive to put so much energy into speaking about a single poem. So I've transitioned into trying to talk about what does or doesn't work in the hopes that the writer will have some idea how to improve.
            
            I think as we continue to work on our craft we kind of learn where we're taking risks and so I'm trying to give feedback to show where I think a risk was worth the cost or not. Growing as an artist is difficult, likewise critiques. I'm trying to be active without draining my own resources if that makes sense.
            
            Your support is appreciated Ricardo, and I hope you know that I'm following your work out of genuine interest. I see an experimentation and passion in your work, two of the most important parts of creating successful art, in my opinion.
            
            With regards to wishing that you could write like me, try taking a deeper reading into my work. While it might seem magical or intuitive, there is usually a connective thematic or auditory idea that exists within even the most wild poems. For me, seeing the slant rhymes and mid rhymes really helped me lean into my natural lyricism. It helped me enjoy more poets and bring that out of myself.
            
            I think as artists, we can become intimidated by works that speak with a voice that we're trying to find, but rather than think that's a deficiency in your ability, I'd like to encourage you to recognize that you are resonating to something within those pieces. Find what sparks that joy or jealousy. Explore the edges of your own heart and remember that seeing greatness in art is the sign of an artistic mind.
            
            Keep reading and pushing yourself and you'll find a voice that allows you to express what's inside. You're doing great. Don't give up!

@novelistASH Thank you! And yes, I feel I've found my style, it's quite complex though. I don't feel very confident with it. And yes, I'm so excited to read your poems too! And for now, I'm doing a contest so, I'm reading pretty much all types of poetry! 

@dingyyypp Yeah, no problem. I don't mind downer poems. You should see the stuff I write for comparison.
            
            How has your poetry journey been so far? Have you found your style? What kind of poets are you reading right now?
            
            Hope you put out some more soon. Best of luck.

@novelistASH 
            Thank you for taking the time to read my work and share your thoughts. 
            
            I came across your profile while reading @Ajay-Kumar 's poetry and appreciated the depth of your analysis, which is why I reached out for genuine critique rather than encouragement.
            
            I also appreciate you pointing out the issue regarding image credits. I wasn’t aware of that oversight and will  give credit to the rightful owners. 
            
            I’m still experimenting with voice, tone, and presentation as I grow as a poet. Some choices were intentional, but I will reflect on your comments about tightening the language.
            
            Thank you again for the feedback.

@thetorturedpoetess I looked at *Blood Red Roses*.
            
            Much of the book is overly concerned with presentation which I find offputting. I loathe the use of images without a source. Art theft is unethical and were the situation reversed I doubt you'd approve of your writing being used to promote someone's images.
            
            As far as the craft is concerned. It's mostly overwritten. The length for most of those poems could be cut in half without any substantial loss of meaning. Tautologies and repeated words are among the problems that I would recommend editing out. They feel present as a way of over explaining. In general simple language is the best way to impart meaning clearly.
            
            Mood and tone is generally strong. The work does tend towards suffering rather than personal failings, which can resonate with some readers but I find it to be too guarded to engage with on an emotional level. However, I do think that your poems are effective at conveying emotions to a distracted reader; sadly the norm.
            
            I'm not sure why you're asking for my opinion. I hope you remember me because I certainly remember you. If you're looking for votes and encouragement, I'm not a great place for either.
            
            If you're looking for advice I'd say that you need to loosen up. The work feels tight. Overwrought. More concerned with impressing others rather than exorcising inner demons. Again, not necessarily a bad thing, but the kind of art that only scratches the surface.
            
            I get that you're The Tortured Poetess and that angst and suffering work within your brand, but that doesn't have to be severe and wound up. There is a unique levity found within despair; a gallows humor that the downtrodden can relate to. Suffering can also be expressed with a self aware irony allowing us to laugh while the world burns. Try to come at your work with a new spin.
            
            Speaking of brand, I don't think that you need to bind yourself so deeply to Taylor Swift. Be you. Whoever that is.
            
            Don't know if any of this helped. Best of luck.