Iridescent

So my boyfriend broke up with me and umm yeah I think instead of feeling the stages of grief or whatever separately or in any healthy process of emotions, I have just been a mess that screams in rage one second and breaks down into tears like a baby the next. There was just a lot of built up stuff that I just get to replay in a constant loop and be pretty anger and sad that he didn’t care enough to listen once.
          
          So uh that has been my life. Hoping the holidays give me some peace and set me straight again. Like this is the shit I would tell a friend to run away from with your head held high, not cry about. Hopefully I can give myself that advice and move the hell on.
          
          Alternatively though once I get my head back together this is great for the lore of a writer and will certainly bring out great things from me.

woooOOOooooOoOOOooooOoOOoo

<3

I would just like to preface my newest chapter with one thing, I the author deny all accountability for the actions of Iris Blackwell. Thank you, goodnight

Soooo, dropping a chapter tonight and it is LONG. Like 10k words long. So be prepared to either sit down for a while or read in parts lmao. You have been warned if you see this before you read. 
          
          Each part of the chapter largely follows a different character but lots of Iris and Theodore stuff sprinkled in the other parts. And really it is just the Yule Ball so fun stuff. And a lot of fun stuff to follow now that these two idiots have brought my spark back for writing.

boop

Soooo I heard Wattpad being kinda cringe, just wanna remind people that I do cross-post. You can find all my works on Ao3, FFN and Quotev. I'll still be here,  just options exist
          
          Also chapter soon :-)

Fuck all men except the fictional ones

Okay so I’m going through quite a bit mentally right now… lots of realizations and noticing patterns of sorts and for the first time in my whole life kinda just finding myself. 
          
          Figuring out what I want out of life and working through the emotions of that not being who people expected me to be my whole life.
          
          I’m working through it in the way I know how, writing of course. 
          
          Sadly though the headspace I am in is making me very… disconnected from a lot of my projects. I read through and just don’t feel or see anything and I think it is best to stop forcing myself to enjoy it before I just start destroying it.
          
          Anytime I’ve been like this I’ve stopped for long periods of time. That’s just one of the patterns. This time I feel like it just might be longer. 
          
          As always I have every intention of coming back… I just can’t pretend to be okay for a bit and then just spiral again and continue this pattern. Next time I come back it needs to be for good.
          
          So hopefully the next time anyone sees an update from me it is the start of consistent updates again. 
          
          And I’ll come back to read and whatever eventually, when I have fully settled the feelings of disappointment in myself. I just don’t know when that will be… just as I don’t know when I will want to continue my books.
          
          Anyways sorry. If I feel up to it I’ll try and force out the Yule Ball chapters at least. Just I’m gonna need to really fight the urge to just delete it and rewrite it before I do.
          
          Thank you for the consistent love and support, sorry it had to be like this.

woop woop woop