Tbh… right now I really feel like crying. I don’t even know why anymore. Why does it feel like I have to fail in every field of life? Sometimes I keep thinking… what should I even do so people will truly love my stories? Vote for them? Share their thoughts in the comments?
And honestly… I don’t like begging for votes or comments. It makes me feel so small. The targets I set are only based on views because I know my regular readers are still here, supporting me silently. But even then, reaching those goals feels painfully slow.
Sometimes I read other authors’ stories and see their fandoms growing so beautifully. Their readers talk about the story everywhere, recommend it to others, ask people to read it, help the author advertise their work, discuss theories and characters together… it feels like they built an entire family around that story.
And then there’s me.
Rarely anyone does that for my stories. Rarely anyone talks about them or recommends them to others. It genuinely hurts sometimes. I know I’m not a big author or a popular one… maybe my stories are just not good enough. Maybe they’re boring. Maybe people simply don’t choose my stories because they’re bad.
Maybe I’m just not meant for this.
I don’t even know what I’m trying to prove anymore. I’m just exhausted and devastated at this point. Maybe I should stop writing altogether…..
I think I genuinely lost interest in writing at this point.
Spending hours and days writing chapters, thinking about plots, fixing scenes, imagining dialogues… making my hand and fingers hurt from typing so much, only to feel like I’m getting nothing in return—it’s exhausting.
Maybe people don’t realize how much effort an author puts behind every single update. The overthinking, the sleepless nights, the excitement before publishing a chapter… only to stare at the screen afterwards and wonder if anyone even cared enough to read it.
Maybe I expected too much.
I believe I’m not going to write again anytime soon.
