oldebooklover

I have either no energy or I’m full of it and lately I’ve had less and less. I’ve been having more low spoon days, and I haven’t been able to see my friends or my gf really  so it comes off like I’m ignoring them but I’m not I swear it’s just too muchh but on my part not theirs???

oldebooklover

I have either no energy or I’m full of it and lately I’ve had less and less. I’ve been having more low spoon days, and I haven’t been able to see my friends or my gf really  so it comes off like I’m ignoring them but I’m not I swear it’s just too muchh but on my part not theirs???

oldebooklover

this message may be offensive 
God I’m such a fucking fraud. Like,,Im a good friend, I think. But I’m not a good person. Everything I do feels like....playing a role. Like a while ago when my mental health was really bad, I decided to just fake it till i make it, y’know? Act happy. Act healthy. You wanna be a better friend? Act like it. Better person? Act like it. But really I’m just thinking “what would this person say? What do i need to say to keep up this persona of who. Am to this person?....”  whenever I say shit or try to explain this to people and say that’s aim not actually a good person, my friends always go “no ofc you’re not, you’re a good person, look at x, etc”. But that’s just cause of the act I’ve put on?? Like I made my fucking bed and I’m laying in it.