olivehybrid2000

Excepting something is lost forever never to be your again is one of the hardest things to have to do. I lost the most important thing to me I owned.  It can not be replaced. Those who really know me knows how important this item was to me. I bought it almost 20 years ago a cylindrical lime green neck pillow that over time had no stuffing in the middle but it still was the best pillow in existence.  To all that reed these and think that it it is so stupid that a pillow was the most important item I had don’t know me.   Please understand this is and will always be the hardest thing for me to except is gone.  RIP best pillow in existence. 

Having to say goodbye to an old friend is always next to impossible but me and my longest oldest friend just have to break up.  It is no longer good for ether of us to be in each other’s life.  I think the feelings are mutual they have been fading from my life for sometime.  So with all that being said Goodbye Writing I will always miss you but the time we had together will never be forgotten.  You got me through the darkest moments.  I will try to find my way in the darkness without your light.  I will stumble and fall but I will try to make it through.  
          Sorry to the one or two people hoping for more chapters I don’t think they will be coming...
          

Okay, I have to put this somewhere.  I went to school for surgical technology. I am a Certified Surgical Tech I passed I did all the work to do it.  never missed a day 3.8 GPA this was over a year ago.  I still have not found a job in a hospital.  Before you ask yes I have applied to many hospitals I'm not just sitting on my hands.  but two months ago I had to get a job to make money and get on my own feet.  I have the schooling to be working in surgery but you want to know where I am working? Walmart... it is the biggest insult of my life.  here I thought this 18 month of hard work studying never missing a day of class or externship being top in the class and I am the only one out of 7 who graduated and one of the 4 of the 7 who past the CST(Certified Surgical Tech) test ( California you are not required to have the CST you just have to graduate from an accredited program.  I took the CST just getting over probably the worse ailment I had ever had.  the day before I couldn't even get out of bed I really felt like I had one foot in the grave.  I went the next day feeling a little better but still not all there and took the most important test of our schooling and Past! I Past... and I can work in the hospital all that hard work was supposed to pay off, right? But I am working at Walmart. Let's just say today is not a good day for me right now because it is really hitting me hard right now. I'm not one to complain that is why I am posting it here because I know no one reads. The evidence below where I have ranted and no one has responded so I feel safe posting it here.  I love being in the OR working in there was like I was finely where I was always supposed to be.  However, I go to work every day with a fake smile on my face and no one there knows that I could be working in the operating room alongside the surgeon.

Well me and writing just need to break up I don't think that it is a healthy relationship.  The only problem is I love writing how could I break up with it please help how do you say goodbye to love?

Writing and I haven't been getting along lately and I think we need to go to couple's therapy

I have always loved to write.  However what if I tell you that I didn't learn how to read until I was in the seventh grade.  I didn't learn about grammar until I started College.  But I have been coming up with stories and trying to write them down since I was in the third grade.  Writing is who I am but I am starting to lose what I thought I was which is a Writer... I love all my characters and stories but I fear that I will be the only one.   I feel like their stories deserve to be told but I don't have enough skill to have them be heard.  So I would just like to apologize to all my characters now: I am sorry.

Hello again, I just sitting here unable to write do to the thoughts that keep telling me why try your never going to be good enough or liked no one will ever care about what you write so why try.

do you ever have those thoughts that just go blah?  that is my feeling right now just blah.

okay coming to the realization that no one cares what I put here so This is where I am just going to vent about well... what people are telling me is life.  So If you do start looking at these I am so sorry what you have read above this post.  Just letting you know I am fine Just need to vent in public with the idea that no one actually reads it.

Hey just asking if anyone does read my stories if so which ones :D